Speech by Eric Collins

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Eric Collins
Speech Date: 2002 nov
When Gary first asked me to be the best man, I immediately thought WHY, what
have I done wrong? But then I was told that Mike XXXXXX was going to take
care of all the hookers. I mean stripers. I mean the waitresses for the
bachelor party so I guess it made sense.
Before I carry on with Gary's character assassination, I would like to thank
the Brides Maids for performing their role so wonderfully and looking so
thoroughly beautiful throughout the day.
Gary was born on 9th of december 1969, the same year Neil Armstrong walked
on the moon, and Concorde took to the skies. More importantly for Gary it
was also the year test-tube fertilization of human eggs was possible. I
don't know if mom ever told you gary. But when you go to work in Sorrento
valley next those laboratories, you may be closer to home than you think.
Gary was a good older brother for me. When we were kids he once convince me
that mostly likely I would not end up kneeling in front of the garage door
in a game of butts up. He reconciled to me afterwards that he never
intended for the tennis ball to hurt so much.

And then there are our first bikes. Second hand schwinns. There was a
green boys bike and a pink one for girls. Pink basket on the front and a
pink chain guard to boot on the girls bike. Being the generous brother he
is, he gave me have the pink girl bike. I don't remember having a say in the
matter.

He also talked me into playing doorbell ditch with the neighbors.
unfortunately he neglected to let me know that he had already rang the same
house several times that night and that they may be prepared for me. So I
had some explaining to do when they answered the door before i could get
away. of course gary was hidden behind a car halfway down the street
watching the whole time.

what can i say, thats my brother.

However I feel that marriage will make Gary a better person, it will teach
him consideration of others, self-restraint, control, sharing and it will
develop in him a sense of fair play and many other qualities he wouldn't
need or want if he had stayed single.
On behalf of the Bride and Groom I would like to thank everyone here for
sharing their day, particularly those of you who have traveled long
distances. it gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief, to invite
you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Gary and becki, Mr and
Mrs XXXXXXXX no less. We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a
long and happy marriage.