Speech by Fraser Henderson

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Fraser Henderson
Speech Date: Jul2007
This is the speech I just gave at my brother wedding!! Went down a storm and everyone loved it!

Feel free to put it on your website,

Thanks

Fraser Henderson

Glasgow, Scotland

Good afternoon. Thank you all for attending this special occasion in honor of Ross and Nicola. First, on behalf of the Maid of Honor and bridesmaids, thank you Ross for your kind words. Just to echo what Ross, has already said, I would like to say that the bridesmaids are looking absolutely stunning and are only outshone, and quite rightly so, by Nicola who I'm sure you'll all agree is looking sensational. I'd also like to pass on an extra special thanks to the bridesmaids for getting Nicola to the church today – I understand she put up quite a fight!

Im sure you'll all agree that the wedding was beautiful and the entire wedding party did an amazing job! SO, before I begin my assassination of Ross's character, I would just like to thank ushers, Bob, Dave and Johnny, the Minister, florists, photographers, caterers, and everyone else involved for your hard work in making this day a huge success!

No doubt by now most of you know me as Fraser, however my full name is actually “Fraserwouldyoulikeadrink!”, so I'd appreciate if you could use this when you come to say hello later on. Now, as you all know, I'm Ross's best man and I'd like to start by thanking Ross for asking me to be part of this special day. I know they've both put a tremendous amount of effort into the planning of this wedding, especially Nicola, and I can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything else will have exceeded their expectations.– I can only say in my defence that being Ross's younger brother he has played a large part in developing my sense of humour, so if this speech is disappointing, then please feel free to blame Ross!!

Now no body ever pays the groom a compliment, so Ross, I'd like to say you're looking quite dashing today and the lion tamers at Tony and Guy have done a great job of styling the wild beast that is your hair. As you all know, marriage is for better or for worse, which is quite appropriate as Ross couldn't have done any better and Nicola couldn't have done any worse. No really, Ross has done very well for him self marrying a great girl like Nicola- I mean, you should have seen some his last girlfriend- dogs- all of them, PIG UGLY.pause, Although may I say, how delighted we are to have so many of them here today!

Right, well the first thing a best man is supposed to do is to tell witty anecdotes about the groom, to let the brides family discover what type of man their daughter has just married. Now, after having a long think about this I discovered that nothing funny has ever happened to Ross. Well, what I mean by that is that all his funny stories fall into the “unsuitable category” which I cant discuss on his wedding day.… I mean, it would be highly inappropriate if I told you about the time Ross was on rugby tour, and after drinking too much cider, opened the window of his 3rd floor room and was sick- all over my father who was standing 40ft below!!!

And I also cant talk about the time Ross phoned mum at 6am in the morning from America to announce that he was locked up in Jail in South Carolina and needed his mummy to pay his bail– but really, I cant get into that one, all I can say is that it in an offence to urinate in the streets of America!!

Now, anyway, as I said, I can talk about any of that. So, you're probably all still wondering what type of person Ross is?? Well, the words the words funny, caring, generous and handsome come to mind….he's a decent bloke.

However, BE WARNED!.. Ross HENDERSON is not a forgiving person . Everyone may find this a bit of a shock but Ross still holds a grudge for something I did when I was 4 years old which very almost resulted in me not being his best man today . Now, I don't remember this, but Ross claims that I took his model “Dukes of Hazzard” car- General Lee- which was his prized possession, and that I smashed it to bits with a hammer. Now, Ross still gives me a hard time about this, and I really don't want him to hold this grudge against me for the rest of our lives, so Ross, I would like to present you with this .… A brand new, General Lee which I hope you and Nicola pass on to your son one day . I just hope for his sake that he doesn't ever damage it , otherwise, I've got a feeling you'll be putting him up for adoption !

Now, I can see you're all getting hungry so Im going to start wrapping this up. Before I sit down though I need to read out one very important message from some people who couldn't be here today. Now Ross, I know you wont be wanting me to read this one in front of your new wife, but I promised Crystal and the other girls that I would, so here goes:

“Ross, We hope you still visit us every week and wish you all the best in you're marriage. With Lots of Love, The Girls at Sandys Sauna and Massage Parlour in Glasgow” – I think you've got some explaining to do Ross!!!

Finally, some advice for the groom: now, this should be easy for you to remember : married life can be compared to football. All you need to do is be fully committed every week, and make sure you score every weekend. Also, remember playing away from home WILL result in Nicola putting you on the transfer market.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me immense pleasure to invite you all to be upstanding, raise your glasses and join me in a toast to Ross and Nicola. May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to last forever,

Ladies and Gentlemen, to the new, Mr and Mrs Henderson, Ross and Nicola!!!!

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