Speech by Gareth Williams
Here is my own speech from the 7th Sept 2002. I'd like to thank your website for the invaluable help I gained in drawing my own up. Many thanks Gareth Williams
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Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Gareth Williams
Speech Date: sep 2002
Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, firstly let me introduce myself, I'm Gareth, as you can probably tell by my identical monkey suit I'm Chris's best man for today. Secondly, let me give my thanks to Gordon, Sharron's god father, for his opening speech, and on behalf of the Bridesmaids let me give thanks to Chris for his kind words.
After being told I was Chris's best man today I began a panic stricken intensive five days of research into the role of the best man. In my research I turn up a great piece of advice… It said that the best man speech should last only as long as it takes the groom to makes love on his wedding night. So with that in mind… Thank you ladies and gentleman!…
As I understand my main duties for today were
Getting Chris here on time
Making sure he stayed sober
And make sure he was looking his best…
And if you ask me two out of three's not bad!
Now as all of our friends, currently trying not to giggle at the back will tell you, as a group of friends were as thick as thieves – playing football together, nights out, etc. Back in 1993 we heard on the grapevine that Chris was going out with a girl he meet at work… naturally our curiosity was peaked… who is this mysterious lady?… We never actually got to ask him any questions about this woman because he disappeared for three years and we didn't see anything of him! So I'd just like to ask on behalf of everyone… What actually were you doing for those three missing years?!!
I've known Chris for going on twelve or thirteen years now and when the lads have gone away on holidays myself and Chris seem to have ended up sharing rooms a lot, and always drawing the short straw! Our most memorable are…
Sharing a sofa bed on a house boat in Lowestoft!
And how could I ever forget Blackpool, where we had the great pleasure of sharing bunk beds!
And as I'm sure Sharron will back me up on this, Chris
Snores loudly like a pig!
Breaks wind copiously!
And steals all the covers!
Seriously speaking in all the years I've known Chris he's been one of the best friends anyone could ask for. He's got a sarcastic sense of humor that could cut steel, he's loyalty knows no bounds and he's always there for a friend in need. He's an exceptionally lucking man to be marrying Sharron today, a woman who he loves as much today as he has for the last nine years. Looking beautiful today as always, I know that they're going to have a bright and full future ahead of them in the years and years to come.
Now I'd like to tell you a few things about the stag weekend in Newcastle… But sadly most of that weekend is classified Top Secret, under section 23, paragraph 5 of the Law of the Stag.
But the thing I would like to mention about that weekend is the paint-balling day we went on. Now before hand Chris set himself up as a cross between Field Marshall Montgomery and Genghis Khan… A leader of men into battle… and it didn't take very long for this illusion to be shattered into a million pieces!
On our third exercise Chris's team where given the task of attacking a heavily defended base. Chris's tactics at this point were to charge across “no mans land” at full sprint! Now I give him credit for getting across unharmed, but as soon as he reached the end point and dived for cover he came into the range of about five paintball gunners, myself and Paul Dixon at the back there, included… The only cover Chris had at this point was a very small bush, which afterwards looked like a multicolored Christmas tree! Now were not entirely sure who got the killer shot… but all we could hear was what can only be described as the girliest scream you have ever heard! And I'd like to invite Chris to re-create that scream for us today…
Once again I'd like to thank everyone for making this a very special day… to give my own final thought, Jerry Springer style, on today I'd just like to say… The person we marry shouldn't just be the person we want to live with for the rest of our life's, the person we marry should be the person we just cant live without for the rest of our life's.
And I know that for both Chris and Sharron that this is definitely true…
With that in mind Ladies and Gentlemen I'd like to ask you to raise your glasses and be upstanding in a toast to the new Mr. and Mrs. Wright, Chris and Sharron.
