Speech by Gary Bartle

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Gary Bartle
Speech Date: Apr2007
Good evening Ladies &amp Gentlemen,

Let me first say that the bridesmaids Rachel, Elizabeth &amp Amy look absolutely smashing today, and only outshone by our bride, Lorraine.

And, I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen,

Today is a sad day for single men, as another beauty leaves the available list.

And ladies I'm sure you'll agree that today.. is passing by without much of a ripple..

I'd also like to Thank you all for following Steve's instructions not to laugh at his speech so well done for that..

Being asked to be Steve's best man was a great honour.. At first but I must admit as the weeks have gone by I've become more and more nervous, needless to say that this isn't the first time today that I have got off a warm seat with a piece of paper in hand..!! But I did manage to speak to Steve about my anxieties and as all good mates do he sat me down and said

&quotDon't worry about it mate, you'll be great, you don't have to be funny, just be yourself&quot

So cheers for that Steve, I can see why you enjoy my company so much now..!!

I've known Steve for about ten years now after meeting him at Work.. I actually covered his job whilst he was in hospital and I must admit they didn't want him back..!!

Now Steve doesn't actually know this but I must admit whilst working with Steve I thought of him as a bit of a God..

No one ever saw him

He made his own rules

And any work that he did do was a bloody miracle..!!

Anyway, as I didn't know him as a youngster I have had to do a little digging into his school days and I was quite surprised when I found out that he was the class Star..!!

That is… Not too bright, quite distant and rarely seen..!!

When asked what the teachers thought Steve would be when he left school the usual response was about 26.. So there you have it…

But seriously, Steve is a top bloke and a great friend and has been there for me on many occasions when you need a friend..

I have just one message to read out today and its from the five-a-side team that Steve plays for.. It Reads:

&quotTo Steve and Lorraine, congratulations on your wedding day and all the very best for the future. Lorraine, Unfortunately Steve is useless in every position we have played him in and we hope you have better luck&quot

So Finally, before the toasts it is customary to offer some advise to the happy couple:

Steve, This is a piece of advise that most of the married men in this room will have learnt for themselves, The best way to remember your wedding anniversary is to forget the first one..!!

And Lorraine, You deserve a good husband… And we are pleased that you have married Steve until you have found one..!!

Moving on to the toasts, I'd firstly like to thank you all for coming on behalf of the bride and groom and for the lovely gifts that you've brought with you.. I'd also like to thank once again the lovely bridesmaids and also not forgetting our two Ushers today Martin and Mark, well done guys.

So ladies and gentlemen if you will all please be up standing and raise your glasses, to the bride and groom.