Speech by Gavin Smith

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Gavin Smith
Speech Date: Jul2007
Good evening ladies and gentlemen, my name's Gavin, and as best man I'd like to say a few words.

Well Robin, I hope you made the most of your speech. Now you're a married man, that's the last time you will get to speak for 3 minutes without being interrupted!

I would like to start by thanking the groom for his kind words on behalf of the bridesmaids, they have done a great job and I'm sure have been a great support to Nola on this special day!! In fact Robin and Nola have got gifts for the bridesmaids so if I could ask Victoria, Karen and Georgia to come up then Nola will hand these out to you.

On behalf of the bride and groom I'd like to thank you all for being a part of their wedding day, although personally I wish you'd all stayed at home, because things would have been a lot easier on me.

I feel very honoured to be the best man today, although when Robin asked me to be his best man I'm not sure honoured would be quite the right word – in fact I can't use the exact words as its before the 9pm watershed, but let's say terrified would cover it, especially when I realised I would have to make a speech in front of so many people.

Never having been a best man before I wondered where I could find some inspiration for my speech, and guess what the internet immediately sprang to mind. So after a few hours of searching, and having ordered myself a smoking jacket and some comfortable slippers I decided that I needed to concentrate on the speech !!!!

Here are 3 pieces of advice which might prove useful to you both in your new married life together:

Advice #1 – People say marriage should be a 5050 partnership. The person who wrote this knows little about women and even less about fractions.

Advice #2 – The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

Advice #3 – The secret of a good marriage is to remember to have a nice meal with good wine, scintillating conversation and soft music at least once a week. My wife and I swear by this … she goes out on Tuesdays and I go out on Fridays!

You may be wondering how I know Robin, well we met at University 12 years ago – in fact it was whilst waiting to register on our course that he came and spoke to me – he asked me if this was where you registered for the course – at least I think that's what he said for a southerner like me it was hard to understand. After having mastered the accent we have been great friends ever since and shared some great times at university and when we went travelling together, and I am proud to call him my friend.

It would be fair to say that Robin was a dedicated student whilst we were at University, dedicated to drinking cheap beer, eating greasy kebabs and watching daytime TV, oh and sometimes being dedicated to his studies. In fact I remember on one occasion in our final year when we had to hand in our dissertation that Robin had not had much sleep in the days and weeks leading up to the deadline, and on the day that we handed it in we naturally went to the pub to celebrate, and Robin actually managed to fall asleep standing up only for a few seconds in a crowded, noisy pub holding a pint of Stella without spilling a drop – now that's dedication!!!

Those of you that know him quite well will know that he is into his music in a pretty big way, in fact he used to spend more on CD's during the time we were at University than he did on tins of beans, and as a student that is saying something. So for somebody who was so keen on music the first single he bought was In the Army Now by Status Quo – who knows what his second one was!!!

I think it's fair to say that since I've known Robin he has always been proud and particular about his appearance, so much so that it is not unusual for him to actually take longer to get ready than most women, something that I'm sure Nola can vouch for – still I suppose for those who are not blessed with good looks they have to work harder don't they??

Whilst on the subject of how long he takes to get ready I had to make sure he got up nice and early this morning, so forgive him if he is “tired and emotional” later – it's almost certainly the drink – sorry that should read it's almost certainly not the drink!!!

People have pointed out to me that I really should grasp this once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity to reveal to you all of Robin's past misdemeanours. But unfortunately we don't have that long, however I can tell you that I have managed to collect a few stories from Robin's younger days.

I think you'll all agree that this box of sweets is fairly innocent looking, however Robin had other ideas, and somehow came to the conclusion that rather than eating them as any normal child would he decided that inserting 2 up his nose would be more fun!!! He now knows that if you leave tic-tacs stuck up your nose long enough then they will melt!!!!

Another time, when Robin was 3 years old he drove his little bike into a glass door in the living room and broke it – an early indication of his driving skills perhaps??

Robin once cut all the hair off his favourite teddy bear, named Leo thinking it would grow back – of course it didn't!!

When he was 6 years old he was sent to bed at his birthday party for fighting with the guests and being naughty – let's hope the same thing doesn't happen today!!

Telegrams/cards here perhaps???

But all joking aside, although Robin is quite an indecisive person I think you'll agree with me that in choosing to spend the rest of his life with Nola he has made a fantastic decision. I'm sure you'll all agree that Nola looks amazing today – Robin you are a very lucky guy!! So can I ask you all to be upstanding and raise your glasses in a toast to the new Mr and Mrs Watson – to Robin and Nola all join in