Speech by Gordon Taylor

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Gordon Taylor
Speech Date: sep 2003
Ladies and Gentlemen, please pray silence for I Call upon the Brides father, DAVID to say a few words…

BRIDES FATHERS SPEECH
MARKS SPEECH

I would like to thank Mark on behalf of the 3 Bridesmaids SAM, JASMINE and POPPY for those kind sentiments, I am sure you all agree they have done a great job today.

I have a few thank you's to perform on behalf of the Bride and Groom.

Firstly I would like to thank DAVIDA and everyone she has roped in for helping out with the arrangements for today and the clearing up tomorrow.
CATHY, EMILY and SARAH for the beautiful singing at the church.
And lastly Stef for all the beautiful flower arrangements and button holes.

It is said A good speech should be like a woman's skirt: Short enough to rouse interest, and long enough to cover the essentials, so I'm going to try my best!!

On being given the great honour of being Marks best man, I realised that to do my duty well I had to investigate my role and responsibilities thoroughly, I saw my main role was to get Mark to the wedding, on time and looking his best , ….You may not believe it but this is his best!!!.

Historically the best man would have stood in and married the bride should the Groom fail to turn up, Well when Mark saw me this afternoon in the kilt he asked whether I would stand in for Julie if she didn't turn up………….So It will come as no great surprise when I say how delighted I was to see Julie at the church today!!!

May I just take this opportunity to say that I think the bride looks one in a million today…..the groom looks won in a raffle.

Of my other roles the one that took my eye was that of ensuring Mark and Julie are compatible for their life together, and I can tell you I have left no stone unturned in ensuring that these two lovebirds are right for each other.

Firstly I looked at their Horoscopes, and found they are both born under the same star sign, Aries, The Ram, Which goes some way to explaining why Mark spent his youth in the remote Shetland and Falkland Islands. So I found they're both the same sign with similar temperaments with the stars charting the same course through life for them. So all good news there and unfortunately no real opportunity for me to just insult Mark!!

So finding compatibility in the stars I turned to their respective Years of birth, they are both of a similar age, no Julie I won't say how old you are, only being a year apart, so they will have lots of similar childhood memories to share, They'll remember the same songs from the school discos, and fondly be able to talk about Action Man, Sindy Dolls (I believe Mark still has his!!!) Rubix Cubes, Space Hoppers, Pogo Sticks, Donny Osmond, David Cassidy, The Jackson 5, Kojak, Superman, The Goodies, Starsky and Hutch, Abba, Slade, Punk, JR and of course Choppers!! For those of you young like me apparently they were bicycles.

Anyway, I turned to the East to draw upon the wisdom of the Chinese, For those of you that don't know, Chinese Horoscopes are based on the year that you were born and are depicted by animals, I myself am the year of the snake. Those born under this sign are deep thinkers, methodical with a reputation of wisdom. Charming, seductive, Fastidious about their looks and have elegant taste, so as these things are true, I knew it was worth checking out!!

Mark was born in the year of the Rabbit!! Not much else to be said about that really, except it again explains his youth. I see it has brought a smile to Julie's face.
But Mark I must point out that your bride is considered by the Chinese to be superior to all other animals. She is Exotic, wilful and elegant. But be careful my friend for Julie was born in the year of the Dragon! But Still there is nothing within the wisdom of the Chinese to cast doubt on their compatibility.

So all good news so far, but I had to check one more thing, just to make sure, I looked at their names, Its been said “What's in a Name”, and to be honest I didn't know what to expect, but Its funny how accurate some of these things can be..…

Take the name Julie, it means Soft haired, gentle, inspiring and enthusiastic, and how can that not describe the bride you see before you. And As for Mark, the Oxford dictionary describes him as a Stain, a spot, a blemish…….you see accuracy!!

As a slight aside, In my research on their names I did make an interesting discovery…they both have plants named after them.

Julie's is a Rose, the description was of a lovely flower, a sweet bouquet, gentle yet hardy. It also said it beds very well and goes great against a wall…

As for Mark I found a Thistle, a Tall, erect perennial with a large head, often described as a weed, sometimes found in well cultivated rose beds!!

Anyway getting back on track, my investigations complete I could find no reason to suggest Mark and Julie were not compatible, but perhaps I wasted my time and should have not gone quite so deeply into it as just looking at the two of them together I can see how well suited they are!

A best Man's duties are not complete without passing on a few words of advice to the Groom as he embarks upon married life. So Mark remember these few words of wisdom:

The First When you have a child you become a parent, but when you have two children you become a referee.

The Second The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once!!

And finally The key to a long and happy marriage lies in 3 words….”Your right dear”.

In closing my speech I just wish to say what an honour and privilege its been to be Mark's Best Man and that I'm delighted that such a good friend has found such happiness and love in his life.

Mark and Julie, I wish you both many prosperous years together sharing the Love, friendship and happiness you both richly deserve.

So would everyone please be upstanding for the final toast,
The toast is “MR AND MRS PATTON”.

I come to my final duty for this evening as I Call upon Mark and Julie to Cut the Wedding Cake.