Speech by Graham Humphreys

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Graham Humphreys
Speech Date: Jun2007
This is not the first time today I have got up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand

carl is well aware of my feelings on public speaking so being the gentleman he is he got me very drunk before asking me to be his best man, but on sober reflection i can honestly say i was proud and honoured to accept……

So for those who don't know me my name is Graham and as well as carls best man i am also his cousin ……I should have known bossing him around as kids would come back to bite me .

I'd like to begin by thanking carl for his kind compliments to the bridesmaid Neve who i hope you will agree did an excellent job and looked lovely only outshone as it should be by Hester herself who looks absolutely stunning ….Carl just looks stunned.I'd also like to thank our usher john for all his help today with the difficult job of showing people where to sit…And getting Carl here dressed on time and sober………Two out of three not bad

In this speech I'm supposed to sing Carls praises and list all his good qualities…..But I can't sing and I refuse to lie….…

Carl had many interests growing up ,,,an early obsession with space invaders which left him skint,,,

A passing fancy for fast cars which ended with him on first name terms with all the local traffic policemen and skint again,,,,

A taste for fashion which left him….I'm startinging to see a pattern here… And left him with an infamous black and lime green leather jacket that he struggled for years to get rid of until a MR M Jackson finally bought it ,,

But i think his greatest passion is the one that has cost him the least ,,save the odd fine for red cards ,,,football and Milton in particular where he tells me with a straight face his nickname is the general..although being married now he is outranked…

Which brings me neatly to

How did Carl meet Hester …you could say the met by accident

On a boys sailing holiday to corfu with Carl his dad Alan his friend Tony and myself .one evening towards the end of the week Carl in an advanced state of refreshment decided to check on the boat in the dark and on jumping onto the jetty slipped and banged his head with such force that he and Tony spent the next six hours in greek casualty .

when he returned the next morning with his stitches and eyepatch looking like an unsuccessful pirate i dont know which was hurting him more his headache or his belief that he had ruined his good looks .

but by evening we had convinced him that the sympathy vote would work for him and as Alan and i left to return the boat Carl and Tony headed out on the town where Hester took pity on him… A trait that has served her well ever since

I unfortunately didn't get to meet Hester so a few months later when carl said a girl from holland was coming over my first thought was i might have a look on Ebay myself my second thought was how much was the postage on that going to be .

Thankfully Hester arrived without a postmark and the romance that followed has led us here today

So I would like you all to raise a glass and join me in a toast to the new MR and MRS Smith
Carl and Hester