Speech by Grahame Sumner

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Grahame Sumner
Speech Date: oct 2003
Good evening ladies and gentlemen

Firstly on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Mark for his kind words, and may I also add that they look absolutely beautiful and have done an excellent job this afternoon.

On behalf of the bride and groom, I would like to thank everyone for coming, I am sure you will all agree that this is turning out to be a brilliant wedding celebration and Salcombe does make a fantastic setting.

I would also like to remind you that the more you laugh at my jokes, the quicker my speech will be over.

Its so nice to see so many people here today on the most important ………and nerve-racking day…of my life.

For those that don't know me my name is Grahame and yes it was I who drew the short straw……….I mean was given the honour of being Marks best man.
Seriously I was both delighted and honoured to be chosen, though I must confess to being a little nervous as I stand before you as public speaking as never been one of my strong points, even though my Mum has always said I can talk for England.

I have known Mark for many years since infant school in fact…it was 1986 when the Bowra family moved into the house opposite mine, and being neighbourly I went over with my swimming trunks and towel tucked under my arm to see if Mark wanted to play……… Little did I know that Mark would in fact be taking the first swim as he fell in my Dad's fish pond during a game of football.
From that day on the Bowras have been like a second family to me.

I have succeeded in my first duty, that of getting Mark to Church sober, on time, and eventually married.

My second duty was to make sure that on Mark's last night of freedom he was put safely into bed by his usher's……….and not on the late train to Liverpool.

Mark got to bed at about 3 and I don't think he got much sleep because of John's snoring.

On a sincere note I would like to thank Mark for asking me to be his best man and thank him for his friendship over the years that I have known him.
In life you can count your true friends on one hand. These being people that will drop whatever they are doing and do all they can to help you in your hour of need.
I remember when I fell off my bike Mark was there.
When my girlfriend dumped me Mark was there.
When I broke my arm Mark was there.
In fact I'm beginning to think that you are a bit of a jinx Mark.

Now Tradition has it that the best mans speech is designed to perform a complete character assassination and embarrass and humiliate the groom. However as I am getting married myself next year to my wonderful Libby, mark will be returning the favour so I'd better go easy on him.

One of my favourite memories is when we finally made our clubbing debut one evening in the summer of 1993 at Maxims in Wigan. Blinded by bright lights, loud music, and plenty of girls we hit the dance floor.

This was where I was to witness the undiscovered talent of Mark's dancing. Regularly he would empty the dance floor with his moves, which would leave all the ladies speechless. So speechless in fact that they never spoke to him.

At this point in my speech I would liked to have told you about the stag night, or in our case the stag week in Newquay. I wanted to tell you about the mischief that we got up to, but the law of the stag does not allow me to do this ……… also Mark's solicitor has advised caution until after the court case next month……….however I can tell you Mark does not suit ginger hair, I'm relieved to see it is now growing out as I'm sure Jayne is too, she nearly had to change the colour of the bridesmaids dresses.
Actually I can reveal a little more as unbeknown to Mark the whole week was secretly filmed at Jayne's request.
Mark honestly I'm not here to embarrass you mate, you did a fine job of that yourself on the stag week, I was a bit concerned after you had made your cross dressing tendencies in public that Jayne might have had some competition today but giving the formal nature of this occasion I am pleased to see you've decided to copy my outfit rather than hers.

When Mark and Jayne got together we all knew that they had something special and that this day was only matter of time in coming. So to both of you from me you make a wonderful couple and I know you are going to be very happy together. We've had some great times as single lads but I don't think Mark has ever been happier than when he has been with you Jayne. Mark again well done you have a wonderful wife which is no more than you deserve…now just get that car swapped for a nice family saloon.

And finally on behalf of the bride and groom id like to thank you all for sharing their day, I started planning this speech a month ago, and you must feel like I have been delivering it equally as long. But now it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Mark and Jayne.