Speech by H Jenkins

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: H Jenkins
Speech Date: Aug 2001
Ladies and Gentlemen,

On behalf of the bridesmaids, I would just like to thank _____ for his kind words as I am sure you will agree, the bridesmaids look absolutely wonderful today..… as does the bride of course..

I've been advised that a best mans speech should last as long as the groom on his wedding night…….so it's a good job that i've only got 3 mins then J_____

I'm sure you'll agree it's been an excellent day, wonderful service and great food.
Yet every silver lining does have a cloud and J____ – I am your cloud

I've known J____ for 15 years and he's been a great friend and entertainer,
We went right through secondary school together, gambled in the common room played in the same rugby team, even graduated from university in the same year and when he asked me to be his best man I could honestly say that I was delighted in more ways than one.

He's even assured me, that if I do a good job today he'll let me be the best man at his next wedding!!

All credit to J____, he was always talented at school, he performed well in exams, mastered the art of computing. And he left school with a good set of results to study computers and German in Brighton.

Recently I was asked to describe J_____ in a Nutshell and I decided on two words
James & Bond. Allow me to explain……

(i.) He is a master of disguise – this normally revolves around how long he's spent on the sunbed the previous day but he has many other outfits……..please open the envelopes on your tables (containing many embarassing photos)

(ii) Theres the fast cars, well they're not actually meant to go that fast
but J_____ has the Knack of breaking the sound barrier when giving me a lift to most rugby matches. You've all seen the bond film where the white Lotus turns into part car and part submarine. Well Justin once had the ability to turn his Red Ford into part Car and Part tree.
(iii) He is talented in the clever use of codewords, such as the Jaffa pillow, T-bag “of course i'll be home by ten”, and “get the moustache out of your eyes ref”

(iv) Naturally every good secret agent hides behind a good cover story,
whilst operating out of Brighton J____ happliy worked on the pier, Asda and the ladies department store ‘Top Shop’ to maintain his cover. In fact his manager Mr John Inman said:

“J____ was very handy”

(v) And finally where there's bond theres always a bond girl and J_____ has the ultimate bond girl – in k_____ intelliegent, beautiful, talented, successful and a great cook i'm told

We now move on to the cards and messages.
1)"My darling K____, we could have been so good together, call me if he
goes off the boil" – luv Brad Pitt xxx
2) To J____ – "I can't help thinking about the good times, I'll miss our sunbed sessions together , keep in touch" – Dale Winton xx

But seriously i'm sure you're gonna be very happy together and I wish you best for the future , could you now raise your glasses in a toast to the happy couple – the new Mr. And Mrs. _______.