Speech by Iain Bubb

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Iain Bubb
Speech Date: Aug 1998
Alex is that older brother who can always ran faster, jump farther – and stay up later. Following in his footsteps has always been a stretch. As we all know, Alex is highly competitive. I can never forget that he is two years ahead of me, although sometimes I wonder why, that with such a head start, he hasn't got farther. This state of affairs has, however, given me the advantage of being able to watch Alex. And surprisingly it has not always been his successes, the biggest of which we are here today to witness, but some of his most hideous mistakes that I have been able to learn from. This has not just saved me from some really bad haircuts, it has been much more instrumental.

The pointers in life that Alex has given me have not been limited to the basic rules, such as where you should and shouldn't leave your Polaroid's, or to never, under any circumstances, sing. A good example of his more subtle influence was when I had finally reached an age at which I hoped to imitate my brothers apparent success with the St Johns girls. Because by then, he had ensured that they had banned it. In hindsight, I realise how lucky I was that they had! But ultimately I don't know if it was the staff, or the rest of the school who had grown tired with his romantic antics, but a new rule had been ordained forbidding even close proximity with the girls. There really was, at the time, no doubt as to who the main culprit was, as the rule was quickly coined as – the ‘six inch rule’ –

There was, however, no six-inch minimum when it came to the girls from Sutton High. The St Johns and Sutton High School Economics partnership was an early opportunity to learn essential business skills, and an opportunity rarely missed by the boys, as even I succeeded in coming home with a girlfriend! It was at this important event that Louise first met Alex's friends, and then eventually, on New years Eve 1990, whilst, I may add, she was supposed to be turning over a new leaf, she met Alex. History, among other things… was made that night!

Unfortunately, premature timing dictated that they met just as they were to go their separate ways to University. Alex to Swansea, and Louise to Warwickshire Agricultural college. It was at Swansea that Alex found his calling. No, not to the Mumbles Mile, but to the sea, and to riding the waves. Louise's calling is also one of riding, her passion for horses is as strong as Alex's for the water. So perhaps it is not surprising that they stayed in touch. For me, this made the rules harder to learn, because it was for a good three years that I was left to wonder why his Italian girlfriend from Swansea always looked so different during the Holidays.

Love, however, would finally catch up with Alex. For it was in the year after Graduation that Alex bought his first Playstation. This led to the need to move in with someone who he could easily beat, and so he and Louise got their first place together. Its been great to see their relationship grow, as I have been privileged to be a regular guest, coincidentally, usually just when Alex has mastered his latest game… Alex has always been truly devastating in competition, just as long as he keeps the odds in his favour, and his hand on the reset button.

So eight years on since Alex and Louise met. The first seven years can't have itched, because here we are today, watching them get hitched… I have witnessed several important accomplishments in Alex's life, and that's not just because of the open door policy he kept with all his girl friends. But out of all of them, today is surely his greatest! Bigger even, than his leap for freedom on his eighteenth birthday, when he proved just how agile a man can be when threatened with a night chained naked outside a public school girls dormitory. A fate that I would have jumped for, but for which, alas, Alex jumped from a 1st story window in his underwear to avoid. Perhaps on the cosmic scale of cause and effect, that one action was pivotal in bringing us all here today for this happy occasion, but I know for sure that in the same way as he did on that night, today, Alex will hit the ground running!

I am certain, that in Louise, Alex has found the perfect partner. This is not just because they have so much in common, but, perhaps, because of all the girls that I did glimpse through that open door, it was always Louise that smiled back! And I am so happy to see her here, smiling today!

I can't imagine how Alex feels today, how does the first day of the rest of your life manifest itself for a man who's experience of reality is that unpleasant pause while the playstation loads the next game? But I am sure the quiet beaches of Bali will soften the blow, and that both of you will enjoy a long and happy life together. I am sincere when I say that today, for once in my life, I am truly jealous of my brother. And the least I can hope for as consolation, as he departs for his honeymoon, is his playstation.

I'd just like to say what an honour it has been for me to be best man, and what a pleasure it is for me to speak on behalf of the bridesmaids, who I think you all will agree have looked stunning today, on their behalf, I thank Alex for his kind words.

So, please all stand to toast the happy couple! Mr and Mrs Bxxx, a nicer more perfectly suited couple you could not wish to meet!