Speech by Ian Davies

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ian Davies
Speech Date: Jul 2002
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen, I would firstly like to thank all of you for coming today and helping to make Lyndon and Caroline's wedding day such a memorable and special occasion for all those involved. Personally I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my job less nerve wracking.
For those of you that have not yet brought me a drink my name is Ian although by the time this short speech is over I'm sure most of you will have a new name for me and no big ears or lanky are not original.
It would normally be deemed traditional at this stage for me to recall events from Lyndon's past that he may find embarrassing, but out of respect for him on his big day I have decided not to tell you about them.
(PAUSE)
In any great detail.
In the time I have known Lyndon we have been through a lot together…Guinness…Bitter…Lager…most spirits…a few wigs…the occasional inflatable sheep but mainly lot's of fun and friendship for which I am very thankful.
Looking back to Lyndon's regular nightclubing days always provides me with fond memory's of his individual dancing techniques which normally comprised of Karate moves, falling over and a few dance routines such as wigfield. If you are lucky enough there may be a demonstration of one or all of these techniques later on, so keep your eyes pealed.
I recall the first time I was introduced to Caroline, she told me that the first time she saw Lyndon she thought he was handsome from afar, however I'm sure she meant that he was far from handsome.
Seriously though Lyndon, Caroline is a lovely girl and she deserves a good husband…
Just thank god you married her before she found one.
I would like to now take this opportunity to say a few thank you's. Firstly, to the bridesmaids. Now I know what you're thinking, but you'd be wrong. It is apparently quite difficult to pout, look pretty, and hold flowers all at the same time, especially for over an hour, but I'm sure you'll agree they've performed such a role brilliantly, they all look beautiful and have done an excellent job here today. As of course have the ushers. So I think a round of applause for them all is definitely in order…
I would also like to thank Doreen for her kind invitation here today and for all her efforts to make today go so smoothly.
There are obviously 2 very important people here today whom we all have the upmost respect for and quiet honestly with whom we could not do without. At some stage of the day we will all be with them, sharing with them this special occasion, and if you would all raise your glasses for me I would like to make a toast to them:
THE BAR STAFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On a more sincere note I would just like to take this opportunity to say, and I'm sure you all will agree that Lyndon and Caroline make a very lovely couple. We wish them all the best in this new chapter in their lives, so Ladies and Gentlemen will you please be upstanding raise your glasses and join me in a toast, the new Mr. and Mrs. Houston LYNDON AND CAROLINE.

(Finally, if anyone thought I was a bit easy on Lyndon that's because fortunately for you lucky people, the speeches aren't over yet, so I'd like to ask ???????, who I'm sure you all know by now, (He's the noisy one on that table) to say a few words. ?)