Speech by Ian Turley

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ian Turley
Speech Date: Jun2007
Hi, Good afternoon Ladies and Gentlemen – For those of you who don't know me my name is Ian and I'm Tim's best man. Well, I'm the best &quothe could get&quot
OR &quotwho would agree to do it&quot.

On behalf of the bridesmaids and myself, I'd like to thank Tim and Sally for asking us to be involved in their unique and special day. I know they've both put a tremendous amount of effort in to the planning of this wedding, especially Sally, and I can only hope that, apart from this speech, everything else will have exceeded their expectations.

I can only say in my defence that Tim and I share a common sense of humour so if this speech is in anyway unfunny please “Feel Free to Blame Tim.”

– I must agree with Tim what a great job the Bridesmaids did, ladies you look lovely.
– I would also like to thank the Ushers…… for at least turning up sober, &quotGood work Fellas&quot.
– Sally you look absolutely fantastic.
– Nobody ever seems to pay the Groom a compliment, I think you'll all agree Tim is also looking pretty good. For those of you who don't know Tim is actually one of the hairiest men in Britain, with that in mind I'd like to thank the staff at Chester Zoo's Ape and Monkey House on Tim's behalf for their help in getting him ready for today.

The first thing a best man is supposed to do in his speech is let everybody from the bride's side know what sort of man Sally has married.
Ok here goes Tim is caring, loving – funny, charming, generous, successful, suave… [SHOW TIM] Suave ??… sorry mate, I don't think that's how you spell suave. Well you get the idea ..… he's a decent bloke.

Of course it's also traditional for the best man to tell a witty anecdote about the groom, something that gives an insight into his character.
Unfortunately with Tim, when we sat down to think about it we discovered nothing funny had ever happened to him. As with most best man / groom relationships there are the stories I'm not allowed to tell, like the time myself and Tim ended up in the Royal's casualty department after one Saturday night out. However if you see me at the bar later I may be persuaded to reveal all.

Not having a witty story I decided to look up Tim's date of birth on the Internet to see what momentous events took place on his birthday.
Unfortunately nothing much seems to have happened. Although the nurses on the ward where Tim was born still refer to that day as &quotUgly Thursday&quot!
Now I don't know why, in fact Tim's Mum was saying what a lovely blonde haired blue-eyed baby boy he was..… in fact, &quotDo we have a photo of him ?&quot [-REVEAL BABY POSTER-].

Now, wait that's not funny. Now the one of Sally it's funny [-REVEAL BABY POSTER-].

I was Talking to Sally's Dad earlier and he was saying as a young girl she was “never as happy as when she had her dummy with her”. Something's never change he said, look how happy she is today.

I've known Tim for 11 years now, we actually started working at the same place at almost the same time. In fact when Tim started I was asked by the head of HR to show him and another fella, Andrew Jones?, around and answer any questions they might have. So having done a quick tour of the offices I asked them both if they had any questions to which Tim enquired, &quotWho organises the five-a-side football?&quot and &quotWhich pub do you go to at lunchtime?&quot. Obviously he was fully committed to the firm.
Talking of football, Tim considers himself to be a bit of a star player. In fact he could have turned professional if it wasn't for two things, his left foot and his right foot. I don't know if you know this but Tim has tried his hand at nearly every sport under the sun, as the various bits of sporting equipment languishing in his garage will testify.
Now he's getting a bit older he's turning his attention more and more to gadgets, constantly buying stuff from ebay, amazon and I want one of those dot com. I swear he didn't have an interest in women until he overheard someone say the secret to women was knowing what buttons to press.

Well I can honestly say in Sally he has managed to get one of the best girls possible. I do have to say how lucky you are Tim. You will leave here today having gained a wife that is warm, loving, caring. Who is both funny, and beautiful.

And Sally, you'll leave here today having gained a Gorgeous dress and a lovely bouquet of flowers.

On a more serious note for a moment…
I remember the Night Tim met Sally ………

[STORY ABOUT NIGHT THEY MET]

……..…

Well, I won't keep you any longer, I know Tim's dying to buy you all a drink at the bar.

It just remains for me to say what an Honour it was today to be standing here as Tim's best man and actually see Tim walk Sally down the ailse.

It now it gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief, to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a TOAST

to the new Mr and Mrs Smith.

We wish them well for the future and hope they enjoy a long, happy marriage.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, to Tim and Sally.