Speech by Ian

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ian
Speech Date: 12/09/2013 20:43:34

Good afternoon everybody, for those of you who don't know me, my name is Ian and I am the best man.  Thank you all for being here on this special day, I know that some of you have travelled down from Scotland to enjoy this occasion with us.  It is amazing how far people will go for a free meal and a couple of glasses of wine.

You'll all be pleased to hear that I believe speeches should be like girls skirts, short enough to keep you interested and long enough to cover the essentials.

I've known Charles since we started primary school together over 30 years ago now, along with our other good friend Jason.  Charles had the honour of being Jason's best man, and Jason was best man at my wedding.  So I had a pretty good idea that should he ever find that special someone it would be my privilege to be his best man.

I have to mention the matron of honour and how lovely she looks today, not just because she is in fact my wife and she told I had to say that. Charles, you'll get used to that.  But she has done a magnificent job not only today, but in helping with the arrangements to make this the perfect day for happy couple.

The most important job of the best man is to organise a decent send off, unfortunately I recently had a rather serious accident that meant I couldn't go out and do anything stupid.  I just want to assure everyone that once I've been medically discharged this is top of my todo list.

Now you might think this leaves me short of speech material, but having known Charles for so long I've had the experience of sharing a room on many a holiday, it amazes me how anyone could sign up for a lifetime of that.

I could stand here all night telling funny stories of the silly things we did when were young.  But, I don't want to embarrass Charles as he really is the most loyal friend anyone could hope for, and I know that loyalty extends to his lovely new bride.  So, rather than publically humiliating him if you'd like to find me afterwards I'd be happy to answer questions about the accident he had Beauleiu, and lots of other misadventures.

Charles is a very useful friend to have, he is always willing to help, in spirit at least.  I'm relieved to know that Josie will be there to give him the encouragement to step away from the playstation and actually get things done.  There are some things that I'm afraid will never change, like the state of his work car.  Despite having a four door estate there is never enough room for even 1 passenger amongst the tools, equipment and clutter.

Charles always has to have the best of things, he won't settle for adequate and has to go the extra mile.  He always had the best bicycle, computer (except for that Spectrum), fastest car, best golfing equipment and latest gadgets.  I think he's achieved that in finding and marrying Josie too.

Ladies and Gentlemen please be upstanding and raise your glasses to love, laughter and happy ever after, I give you the bride and groom!