Speech by Irfan

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Irfan
Speech Date: Jan 2009
Ladies &amp Gentlemen, friends &amp well-wishers, thank you for gracing this occasion a warm and sincere welcome to you from the Keshavjee family.
Pooja, you look absolutely gorgeous… radiant. I saw Salim swell with pride when he saw you today. He is truly a lucky man to have someone so attractive, intelligent, warm and caring. A wife who will be all he could ever wish for and more.
And my little brother…well well… you've finally done it… after 30 years of endless soul-searching… you've finally taken the plunge… and admitted that I am really the best man. Thank you for giving in. It's been a long struggle… and the best man has won. And now I hope you don't mind if I kick you while you're down…
I've been waiting for this chance for 30 years, and have been building up a portfolio of all the crude, rude and lewd things Salim got up to over the years.
So… we have a bald filmmaker and a short lawyer getting married… a comedians dream… but I promised Salim that I wouldn't mention the word short or bald in this speech… plus, pooja is actually quite tall… for a 7 year old… Anyways…
Let me tell you a little story… it begins about 5 years ago…
A day I'll always remember… when Priten came home to a party which my sister Tasreen held, with his two lifelong loves… Pooja and a bottle of Jack Daniels. We all thought that Pooja was his girlfriend, but as the night progressed, we noticed Priten paying much more attention to Jack… and Pooja was left unattended sitting on the balcony stairs… Salim came onto the scene, baseball cap carefully placed to cover his bald spot, surveyed the terrain and pounced on the stair next to Pooj… Pooja was startled… ‘hi’ Salim said, ‘you have really nice feet’… Pooja's startled eyes smiled in pity at this extraordinarily lame line… and that same look has graced their relationship ever since.
Since then Salim has attempted to impress Pooja in many ways. He wanted to become a pilot, but quit after the only job he could get was at Receding Airlines. Then he tried his hand at marketing… but that ended fast after he tried to rename White Rose into DT Dhobi… then finally he blossomed on stage as an actor at the Phoenix Theater, narcissist that he is… He ended up in New York where the baseball cap turned into a film directors cap… and that, like Pooja, has become a love of his life.
I have known Salim for all 30 years of his life… through thick and thin… he started as a bully-able young kid and has grown into my closest friend, my confidant, my soul-brother, my mini-me. Salim I wish for you only the best in life… and Pooja is that best. Take care of her. She is your mirror that you may learn about yourself. She is your conscience that you may serve the world. She is your lawyer that you may never be sued.
Salim and Pooja, filmmaker and lawyer, keshavjee and patel, male and female, arsenal and ManU, Muslim and Hindu, tall and… well… not so tall… all these differences. The future of our world lies in the strength of this diversity. Where people care about each other regardless of difference. Closed minds open, religions blend into spirituality, frontiers of conflict become frontiers of creativity. I heard an enlightened remark when one of the parents casually remarked ‘I don't care what religion my grandkids are, as long as they support Manchester United”. This is the enlightened future you are embracing.
Pooja, welcome to our family. From my father and mother, my sister Tasreen and my wife Farida, our home is yours, our hearts are yours. It is an honour to have you in our lives. For the Patel family, you have not lost your daughter… like every cloud has another, perhaps bigger cloud behind it… you have gained a new family… a rowdy, sometimes boisterous one. The Keshavjee's.
Today, Pooj, you've made my little brother a man… I can see it in the way he walks, in his eyes, in the way he looks at you. They say a man is only as good as the right woman wants him to be. So thank you for 2 things.. for being the right woman for him, and for making him the man he's always dreamed of being.
Salim, I couldn't wish for a better brother and how much you mean is really impossible to put into words. The whole family is proud of you, and we are all thrilled to see you marrying your soul-mate Pooja . I love you both and look forward to our lives together
Marriage is not about finding a person you can live with, it's about finding the person you can't live without. You have both found that person.

Ladies and gentlemen, may I ask you to raise your glasses to toast the couple… To Salim and Pooja, good luck, good health and may all your troubles be little ones
Now, I'd like to think that Salim chose Sachin and me to be joint best men so that we could both be by his side on his wedding day. But I really think that he only picked us for the wedding photos. Me, so he'd look slimmer, and Sachin, so he'd look taller. You see what I mean in a moment… Sachen has been Salims oldest friend, and is an honorary Keshavjee and has a few words to say… over to you Sachin!