Speech by James Kingston

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: James Kingston
Speech Date: Feb2007
Good afternoon everybody

For those of you that don't know me, Im James and I have the honour of being one of Jeff's best men today.

I am a little nervous as you can probably tell so please bear with me if I make a few stumbles or mistakes. I was hoping a lot of you wouldn't be able to find St Audries today which would have made my job a hell of a lot easier. Netherless I did promise Jeff I would do my best and he did say if the speech goes down well then he'll let me be best man at his next wedding. So fingers crossed.

Ive known Jeff for about 15 years through school and 6th form and we have been pretty good friends ever since so when Jeff told me he wanted me to be one of his best men, I was chuffed to bits. Then I realised about the speech and ive been absolutely terrified ever since. So I thought I would get my own back and take this opportunity to give Jeff the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life. Of course, the most uncomfortable five minutes of Elisa's life will becoming later on this evening, courtesy of Jeff!!

I've always known Jeff as shifty so with a nickname like that you would think there would be hundreds of stories to tell and many Skelton's to reveal in Jeff's closet. But sadly it does pain me to say that after months of hard digging there is absolutely no dirt to dish.

Luckily for you Jeff most of my memories of you are very hazy, not because I have a bad memory, it's mainly down to the amount of alcohol in me at the time. This has worried me a bit because the last 15 years have all been a complete blur!

Not being one to give up easily though, I thought I would start at the beginning instead and thanks to Jeff's mum &amp Dad they have been a great help in providing everybody with a visual aid too.

So now for the fun part…… Slide Show

On the 13th December 1981 Jeffrey Andrew Moores graced this world with his presence, wasn't he a cute baby. Hard to believe now isn't it,

A few years later brought the arrival of Jenny, Jeff's sister at first he did throw his toys out the pram, but it didn't take long for them to develop a strong bond which im glad to say they still have to this day.
Jeff was a bright lad who took to most things quickly and he was into everything, Jeff does still like to dress up but those pictures are too disturbing to see!

And this is when Jeff found his 2nd love, If you imagine a sportsman who's at the very top of his game… someone who practices day in day out to be the best at what he does, and always pushes himself to go one step further than he ever has before.

Well that's Jeff. But it's not sport. It's drinking

Jeff other love ever since ive known him is football. and the way he sees it being married to Elisa won't be any different. He will hopefully get to score every week, maybe even twice, and when the opportunity arises play away from home, although Elisa ensures me if he does he will certainly receive a groin injury, and she also wanted to mention that Jeff has never lasted 90 minutes!

Now I did promise Jeff that I wouldn't show any pictures of the stag do, he didn't want everyone to see him dressed up in what he was wearing that day because he felt stupid, embarrassed, and a bit of idiot well sorry Jeff I lied… and I think everyone will agree you look like an absolute plonka!

On a more serious note I have to say Jeff is the most trustworthy, sincere and honest person I know. He has been a good friend over the years so mate – to you – thanks for been a great friend.

Just remember in future it's not nice to frighten your friends by making them speak to a room full of people. OK.

It is the job of a best man to offer some advice to the couple for their future life together. Not being married myself, although thanks to you Jeffrey that has been the constant topic of conversation with me and my girlfriend since you've been engaged! I decided to ask a few married guests here today to impart some of there words of wisdom.

Jeff It doesn't matter how often you change your job your still gonna end up with the same boss

Elisa To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. Jeff – To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

For both of you = Always remember Marriage is a 50 / 50 partnership, of course whoever said that clearly did not understand fractions or women for that matter.

Personally I think you two are off to a great start. When Jeff proposed to Elisa it was very romantic – it was on Christmas morning huddled round a room full of presents. Apparently it was a very emotional and a special moment, and after accepting Jeff's proposal Elisa had tears in her eyes. Which is understandable….I think if I'd just agreed to marry Jeff… I'd want to cry too…

I think everyone will agree today has been a truly wonderful and memorable day, Elisa You look absolutely stunning I must say the brides maids have done a fantastic job today.

Jeff you look absolutely stunned… – but I know you've done the right thing. You have a wife who is caring &amp kind. and I know she'll always be there for you.

Well, before I can really enjoy a drink for the first time all day, let's not forget a certain couple of people who mean a great deal to us all and without them today's celebrations simply could not have taken place. If you haven't met them yet im sure you will later today. Ladies and gentlemen – Here's to ….The Bar Staff..…

Joking aside I would like to wish Jeff and Elisa every happiness for a long life together. I think you are fantastic together and I know you and of course Sasha are going to be a very happy family. So Ladies and Gentleman, if I could I ask you to stand and raise your glasses –to the new Mr and Mrs Moores – to Jeff and Elisa……