Speech by James Mitchell

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: James Mitchell
Speech Date: Jun2006
Ladies & Gentleman, if you would like to start making your way to be seated for the wedding breakfast.

Ladies & Gentleman, please be upstanding for the Bride & Groom…the very new Mr & Mrs Warmington.

Ladies & Gentleman, It's now that tremendously exciting part of the afternoon….the wedding speeches ! So please pray silence for Chris Thompson, Father of the Bride.

Ladies & Gentleman, me again I'm afraid, please pray silence for Darren…..the Groom.

Ladies & Gentlemen, as I'm sure you have all figured out by now, my name is James Mitchell and I am …..Darren's Best Man……or so he foolishly thinks..…
I'd like to start by responding to the Bridesmaid's & Page Boy's Toast ….wow ……weren't they just fantastic ? So on their behalf, I thank Darren for his kind words…

For those of you who have been a best man, I'm sure you can remember the play of emotions at being asked…..first there is the very great honour of actually being asked, that honour usually lasts until the following morning when the beer wears off.…

Then the various terror's of the Best Man Speech slide home…first is the actual aspect of public speaking…but I'm finding that the beer we mentioned earlier helps immensely… then comes the very real concern over finding enough Groom Subject Matter..… thankfully that could never ever be a concern with Darren, time permitting I could have easily been standing here past midnight……

As today is the 3rd of September, I've picked three subjects of Darren's life where we can have a little peek & chuckle at the sheer folly of youth….Haircut's, Car's & something I think of as Rhythmical Stumbling .
There's a group of friends here, the ushers Alistair, Justin & Neil, who have known and actually admitted to knowing Darren since before Primary School, so we've seen everything from the various ‘bowl’ Haircut's up until today's rather conservative cow-lick, but one style that sticks out was the hairdressers dream of the ‘Footballers Perm’….don't get me wrong, I've nothing against long hair, I myself have looked a bit like Kate Bush in my time, but please for a moment picture young Darren….short at the front & top, a side parting/flick and this explosion of curls at the back with more lotions & potions he would ever care to mention.…

The second subject is Cars…..so right up front, here's the image……Morris Marina 1300HL ……with Vinyl Roof….you have no idea how important that vinyl roof was ! So there was me in a triumph convertible…..Justin is a sporty VW….Neil in a (Sorry mate it has to be said) Ford Escort 1300 Sport with ssspoiler, Alistair in his Mum's car and finally Darren, clattering around in a British Leyland classic.…

Finally on this tirade of ruin, I'd like to finish up talking about another famous Darren activity, generally undertaken at night and without exception, after a few beers. It is of course the completely original ‘Darren Dance’, it's fairly simple routine to do…drop one shoulder, raise the other and shuffle around in a circle….it's completely optional whether any of the shuffles are in time with the music…Darren also seems to accomplish a fair amount of that stumbling too….maybe we'll see some later on..…

Well I think that's enough of Darren's embarrassing past, I'd like to talk about that side of Darren that makes all of us that do know him…proud to know him…..I am of course.… talking of the lovely Susan who not only looked stunning today but always manages to light up any room with her smile…….…

As the organising & planning of this wonderful wedding testifies, they are a couple where the whole is greater than the sum of the individual.

The two pieces of advice I'd like to give are rather simple, I'm not sure who wrote them but…
The first is rather poignant as we are here in Lancing College, the location of that magical ‘First Date’ all those years ago.

Make Every Day like a First Date
Never Leave Love Alone, ensure it is always cherished & grown.

The second piece of Advise is for Susan really….if at all possible….never allow Darren to much beer……in the presence of :-
A Dog Collar
A Wig
A Hat
Handcuffs ?
A tight fitting T-Shirt
And A Whip..…

Unfortunately this was a mistake that we allowed to happen on the Stag Night a couple of weeks ago, I think I'll let you judge the results for yourself..…

I now have the very great pleasure to toast Darren & Susan, Man & Wife, Mr & Mrs Warmington…..the Bride & Groom…..