Speech by James Venning

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: James Venning
Speech Date: dec 2003
Hi everyone, i'm sure you will all agree this has turned out to be a brilliant wedding celebration. I'd just like to start by thanking everyone on behalf of the bride and groom for sharing their wedding day – I personally know it means a lot to them with you all being here.

Before I get onto the man speech I'd just like to say a few words about the bridesmaids who did a fantastic job today. I'm sure you will all agree both Kelly and Madeline look lovely. Most of you here know the bride, Emma, well and all that is left for me to remark is that she looks stunning and a picture of happiness.

Now I have been told that a best mans speech should last only as long as the groom on his wedding night….and I have it on good authority you won't be listening to me for longer than 2 minutes.

As with tradition it is my job to give Emma a little background into the man she has married.

John William Derek Lewis was born 11th October 1975. I don't think he was the cutest of babies as Gill suffered from morning sickness after he was born.

One of my first memories of knowing John was at school. We must have been about 10 and every few weeks we were put into groups to perform plays for the rest of the class. This one week we were in the same group and we had to perfor the ‘Al Jolson’ story. John, always the entertainer, wanted to be the great man himself. So we construct this stage of chairs and the idea was he would jump onto this stage from behind a curtain. Anyway if starts off all ok although I don't ever remember Al Jolson moonwalkin! All of a sudden he falls over the back of the chairs and disappears through the curtains. We all rush over thinking he must have hurt himself ‘cos it's a solid wood floor below. We pull the curtain back and he has landed head first on my school bag, the only thing behind there to break his fall. All John can do is look up at us and say "did I look good". Anyway since that day we have been good friends.

On the subject of school I was fortunate enough for Gill to let me poke round some of his old school things and I found an old school report and it read:

John is an ideal pupil who excelled at most subjects.

Now there are a few people I see here today who also went to school with John and I'm sure we will all agree this isn't the same bloke we remember. I look at it a blt closer and I realise he has doctored it. What it actually read was

John is an idle pupil who should be expelled from most subjects.
(i think Mrs ***** wrote that report!)

On leaving school he started an apprenticeship with Chasestead Engineering where he has been for some years now.I spoke to one of the lads there to find out what John was like to work with. Apparently they have a nickname for him – God. I was a little puzzled by this until he explained:

They never see him
He makes his own rules
If he does any work its a bloody miracle

Now I have plenty of stories that I could tell you about John. Fortunately for him lager has blurred the memory of some and the others are just too bad to mention. Besides I may need this favour returned some day so I know I had better be easy on him.

Now I have a few messages to read out

(Real massage)

From the lads at football
We have found John to be useless in every position. Hope Emma has more luck.

(Real message)

Right then, before I finish I just need to get one thing straight with John – thank you for finally admitting that I am the best man.

Being serious, one thing people have told me is that you don't marry someone you can live with, you marry someone you can't live without. Seeing John and Emma here today I believe that to be very true.

John is a great bloke and a loyal friend. I consider myself lucky ‘cos I have many good friends but John is more than that. Everything he does in life he approaches with determination and honesty and I'm sure his marriage to Emma will be no different.

With that would you all please stand an raise your glasses with me and wish the bride and groom all the happiness they deserve. The bride and Groom.

This was a speech at a blessing – did separate speech in Jamaica at their wedding. Was nervous but speech seemed to go well and got a few laughs. Got lots of tips from your website which were invaluable. Cheers!