Speech by James Wenham

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: James Wenham
Speech Date: oct 2004
Good Afternoon Ladies & Gentlemen.

Firstly on behalf of the Bridesmaids Steph and Hannah, I'd like to thank you sincerely for those kind words and can only agree with you that they are looking absolutely lovely and it really is a pleasure for all of us to be a part of this special day.

I also have to say that Ceri looks absolutely stunning today, as I'm sure you'll all agree and Daryl, well Daryl just looks a bit stunned by it all at the moment.

Still being a bachelor myself this lovely occasion has led me to muse a little about the institution of marriage and following the celebrations of today, next of course, comes the honeymoon and I'm told that honeymoons do not always go to plan.…

A girlfriend of mine who married quite recently in fact told me, that on the first night of her honeymoon after having a delicious meal the couple got ready for bed but her new husband instead of joining her in bed just sat in the chair staring out of the window. She asked

‘Aren't you coming to bed darling?’ to which he replied
‘No, no not yet’

and this strange behaviour continued until his wife finally pleaded with him

‘Please come to bed you've been sitting there for hours, it will be daylight soon’

to which her husband replied

‘NO WAY!– My Father told me that this was going to be the best night of my life and I'm not going to miss a minute of it!

Obviously we know that this is an extremely unlikely scenario in the case of Daryl and Ceri's honeymoon, because as we all know the chances of Daryl managing to sit in a chair all night without falling out of it are really pretty slim.

Well, I've known Daryl for about 10 years now.

Daryl & I met at Hull University where we both studying European studies.
Strangely though, despite our impeccable attendance records, it wasn't in the lecture theatres that we met, but on the football field. I first met Daryl during the annual 5 Aside football tournament at the end of our first year. I remember we had a very strong team that year and were 1 nil up and cruising in the quarter final, when our captain Tony Meeking made what probably turned out to be the most self destructive substitution in the history of the beautiful game.

Yes Daryl was introduced to the fray, and within seconds had managed to singlehandedly turn the game on it's head without a single touch of the ball. His contribution was to give away a penalty which led to the opposition scoring, going on to win the game and consequently eliminating us from the competition.
There were no man of the match awards for Daryl that day.

Bizarrely it was another couple of years before I spoke to Daryl again, but in our final year at University we became best mates and have remained so ever since.

Well, what can I say about Daryl at University?

A prize winning scholar, a gentleman, both on and off the first team Football pitch, a bit of a heart throb with the girls in the Hockey team.

Daryl was……….none of these things.

But he did exhibit the outstanding qualities of character which have earned the respect of so many of us gathered here today. His sense of humour, his loyalty, and his fun attitude to life meant that he was always popular and enormous fun to be around.

There's probably enough University Daryl stories to write a short novel, but particular memories that stick out are Daryl dyeing his hair blond and getting mistaken for an Albino. Apparantly he only did it because he'd heard that blonds have more fun.

And also after a drinking session in Hull one night Daryl attempted to show us the delicate art of duck catching in the City Park at 2 in the morning. He had successfully sneaked up to a gaggle of sleeping ducks and had almost captured one, but unfortunately he had consumed one tequila too many earlier on and he toppled over at the crucial moment waking up all of the ducks who were anything but amused. The sight of Daryl being chased out of the park by a team of furious ducks is a memory that will stay with me for a long time.

I've got a couple messages to read from people who unfortunately couldn't be here today:

To Daryl
‘We Could have been so good together’
Britney Spears

To Ceri
‘We were so good together’
George Clooney

Oh look here's one from the Hull University Football team
‘We tried Daryl out in every position and found him to be useless, hope Ceri has better luck.’

This wouldn't be a best man speech without at some point mentioning the stag night, in Nottingham which was organised to a tee and was an absolute blast. Actually Daryl was extremely lucky to be surrounded by 6 close friends who endeavoured to make sure that he came to know physical harm over the whole weekend. Exactly how Daryl ended up fleeing across Sherwood Forest wearing a Chicken Outfit whilst being shot at by masked men with guns is quite frankly a mystery to us all.

In all seriousness though, my final words are to you Daryl and Ceri. I am very proud to be best man here today and I'm so pleased that Daryl has found such a wonderful and loving wife. Everybody here wishes you health, wealth and happiness for the future.
And so Ladies & Gentlemen , please be upstanding and join me in a toast..… to the new Mr & Mrs Naylor to Daryl & Ceri