Speech by Jamie Armstrong

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jamie Armstrong
Speech Date: May2006
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. For those of you that dont know me, I am the best man jamie,
and for those of you that do i apologise!!

I'd like to start by thanking you all for coming on this lovely day to share and celebrate the marriage
of these two lovely people. Personally i wish you had all just stayed at home and made my job alot
less nervewracking.

Im sure that you will all agree how terrific caroline looks, she is a beautiful woman and an even more
beautiful bride. I would also like to draw attention to the bridesmades who also look fantanstic in their
gorgeous dresses.

It has been almost 4 years (i think) since i got to meet caroline, she was a very lovely and caring person
then and still is. You can all see once again how lovely she looks and i think you will agree that mark
obviously has great vision.
It goes to show that the saying "for better or for worse" is very true. Mark couldnt have done
any better and caroline couldnt have done any worse.

I would also like to say a huge thank you on behalf of the bride and groom to both families for all their
help in preparing for today, they couldnt have done it without you, it has been a truely memorable day
that we will all remember for years to come, so lets give them a nice big round of applause.

By the way the more you applaud, the less time you have to spend listening to me go on.

As most of you are probably aware this is the first time that i have been a best man, and i feel so
honoured that mark has chosen me to do this job, i am truly greatful, but i have to say that today you
have proven that you are the best man.(look at mark)

When mark gave me this resposibilty he only told me a few things, that id be making a massively
important speech in front of alot of people, he gave me the date and told me that we would have to go
and get a suit for the big day. Well i had to go and do a bit of research and with the world wide web at
my hands i decided to find out what my duties were. To fulfil my duties i had a number of jobs, Firstly
i had to make sure that the groom got a good nights sleep, and i can report that he slept like a baby, only
waking up a few times crying for his bottle and his mum. Another of my duties was to make sure that
before we left for the ceremony, that the grooms hair and face were in order, well her has no hair, and well,
if mother nature couldnt do the job properly in the first place then what chance did i have?..… well as you
can see i tried and failed!

Other duties included making sure that the groom showed up on time for the marriage and to make sure that
he went to the toilet before. I can assure you that i made him go, but checking is an entirely different issue.
On a more serious note today has gone without a problem and has been a great success, here beside me sit
the best suited couple you did ever meet.

As you can well imagine i knew that this speech was going to take alot of time and effort, and i thought id write
down a few words to descirbe you mark.

The best friend a guy could have (that was mine)

Thoughtful, caring and Charismatic, which i thought were all very kind words.

Then the words Round and short of hair, i think they came from the tables at the back!

I can honestly say that no words came up that were to make mark look back except for the words
irritating, subordinate, broody and untidy, still he hasnt changed as an adult, and although not entirely
untrue, if his own parents dont know him, then who does?

As a child mark was the same as most kids, he got into the odd spot of trouble, but unlike most other
people he always got caught. I am told that the look on his face when he was caught letting down the
next door neighbours car tyres was very amusing.
But the look on his face was nothing compared to the time he decided to race down the road on his
bike with his eyes shut, and nearly running down my nan. Once she had finished getting over the shock
of nearly being killed my a maniac cyclist, she confistscated his bike for two weeks, but dont worry mark you will have
your push bike back by the end of next week.

I've been told by both my nan and my mum that his first drinking spree ended up with him becoming a
bit of a handful, his sister, ceremoniously gave his head a curtesy flush down the toilet nearly drowning him,
and then walking him up and down the road in extremly cold weather to sober him up.
He is still suffering from the after affects (make small willy action)

But dont worry caz you wont be needing it now that you are married.

Now i have known mark for my whole life, and let me tell you, he is one of the greatest guys you will ever meet,
he is caring, kind, intelli (oops spelling mistake) witty and in contrast she is a loving, smart, funny and caring
person and deserves a good husband.

In my closing sentence i would like to say, that i am sorry if i have wittered on waaay too much and, to once
again thank you for choosing me to to be your best man. I am totally honoured and privileged.

I would be most greatful if you would stand and join me in a toast, this one is to the parents to thank them for
their love, support and help in making this a memorable day. ( TOAST – THE PARENTS)

I'd like everyone to continue standing, because finally it would give me immense pleasure if you would all join
me in a toast to the bride and groom. May you married life be happy, blissful and your love forever lasting!
( TOAST- THE BRIDE AND GROOM)