Speech by Jamie Mackay

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jamie Mackay
Speech Date: Aug2004
Leading up to today J&J were having an issue with the seating plan. Who would sit comfortably in here & who would have to get up and stand during the speeches so we decided to use wedding present list, biggest presents at front and work it back from there. So hopefully you can hear me at the back when I say on behalf of J&J thank-you very much for the teaspoons.

Ladies & gentleman, boys & girls my name is Dave and I am Jim's best man here today. Let me start by saying it is my privilege and pleasure to respond on behalf of the bridesmaids. I think you'll agree they have done a great job and look fantastic & are only rightly outshone by the bride.

As for your words about me M I did warn you I would have 2 speeches, 1 for if you behaved & 1 for if you didn't. All I can say is it serves you right!

I want to say a little about being best man. I feel the title “best man” says a bit too much. The way I see it, if I am best man, what the hell is Jane doing with Jim. So I think I will happy just saying that I'm a pretty good man, and Jim can be the best man tonight

Being the best man has a number of responsibilities that I take very seriously:
1)Making sure his face and hair are in order…(not an easy one making the best out of a bad situation).
2)Not losing the rings during the ceremony.
3)Seeing the angry ex-girlfriends are kept away – thankfully the foot and mouth epidemic saw off most of them
4)And not revealing any of Jim's dark & deepest secrets…well 3 out 4 isn't bad!!!

Jim & I met many years ago through some friends that are here today and i can distinctly remember my first impressions. I thought he was cheeky, hyperactive, challenging and loud. Now that I have known him for all of 9 years I now know all of these attributes to be true. But actual these are the attributes that Jim the wonderful character he is and so much fun to be around.

You'll be surprised to hear that Jim is very fond of his food, he's obsessed about meat and he's surprisingly obsessed about vegetables. He also now knows exactly what he likes and dislikes. Probably because as a child he was open to trying a lot of things like when he was 5 when he happily tried an oyster and on chewing it a couple of times decided he didn't like it and promptly regurgitated it out into dad's hand.

Jim also has a serious love of tobasco. I have never net anyone who puts more on a pizza, about a third of a bottle each time. And it was only when I was writing this speech it suddenly dawned on me. Does he have so much because he loves the taste… or is it his concern that should he now stop that his hair would change from it's current fiery red to a dull colour of grey.

Now, as many of you know Jim used to work for X where he was shaped into the extreJaney successful career man that you see b4 you. And I am certain that even the distance he has already come he has only started his journey, and there are a great many more successes yet to happen

But Jim shouldn't just be thankful to X for his career, X was also the place where he met his wonderful wife.

Jim was never adverse to spending long hours in the office, but it was when he started working on a particular audit he seemed to be enjoying it all the more. And it was when we were sitting for dinner at a friends birthday that he piped up:

“I think I might have met someone” he said
So of course I asked for more details
“there is a girl at work who I think is giving me the signals”
Sceptically I asked how long these had been going for
“oh only about 6 months”

It is only credit to Jane's phenomenal patience, not only for waiting for Jim to make the first move but also her patience in everyday life that we are all here on this special day

Eventually following some stern talking J&J finally got it together and to say this came as a relief to many is an understatement. Not that I am, Jim, suggesting that any of us thought there was a problem. I mean the last person who voiced his concerns ended up in rather a lot of pain.

I think I can safely say it is obvious how much in love they are with each other, and I tried to think of an example to illustrate this & of the hundreds of examples one specifically stuck in my mind.

Last Christmas Jim was unfortunately struck with a condition that forced J&J to spend it on there own at their new home. Not to go into too much detail, but the condition Jim was inflicted with involved his derriere, and just b4 Christmas he was forced to have surgery.

Hygiene is extreJaney important post operation and because of it's unfortunate positioning Jim turned to Jane. All I can say is full Jims to Jane for never complaining once spending her christmas blow-drying Jim's bottom in between her turkey and christmas pud.

Finally when I was preparing today's speech I thought I would conclude by summing up Jim in a few kind words. Struggling for inspiration I turned to some of the stag party to give me the first words that popped into their heads when they thought of Jim.

Jim, time to get some new friends.

However one person came up trumps…and when describing him said he was handsome, funny, thoughtful, loud, caring & best of all ginger.

Those words were of course from the now new Mrs Forrester…

so I propose a toast to the bride and groom.