Speech by Jamie MacNeil

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jamie MacNeil
Speech Date: Oct2006
Good afternoon Ladies &amp Gentlemen, for those of you who don't already know me, I'm Jamie – Ben's Best Man.

I have to say this has been a great wedding so far. Ben &amp Nia and both families should be congratulated for all the hard work involved in organising such a wonderful occasion.

I was really chuffed to be asked to be Bens’ best man, it's a great privilege especially as I know he could have chosen six or seven of us who are here today. I'm sure you can imagine the look of relief on their faces when my name was pulled out of the hat. Seriously though I was delighted to accept the responsibility and I hope I am doing them justice.

I've known Ben for many years and in some ways you could say I have been like a father figure to him. I watched him drink from a bottle, I watched him stagger around naked, I watched him crawl, I've dressed and undressed him, cleaned up after him and that was only the stag weekend.

My first task is to reply to the grooms toast to the bridesmaids Lowri and Daisy, on their behalf I would like to say thank you to Ben for his kind words and for their gifts. I'm sure you all agree they look gorgeous and have done an excellent job. In fact everyone in the Bridal party looks fantastic, I just can't believe that some of the guys have turned up wearing the same outfit as me!!

What can I say about Ben and Nia?

Nia you look absolutely stunning – Ben you just look stunned!!

Ben &amp Nia remind me of the story about the princess and the frog.

Unfortunately though, no matter how many times Nia kisses Ben he doesn't turn into a Prince!!

So when did this fairytale begin?

Once upon a time Ben fancied Nia and why not?, but he didn't tell her until she had decided to go to Australia for a year out travelling! In-fact it was only about 48 hrs before she was due to go down under. Bad timing number 1.

After some drunken advice from Rhiwbinas’ very own agony aunt, you know who you are, well you asked me to mention you once!!

Finally Ben plucked up the courage to let Nia know how he felt. Bad timing number 2.

Declaring your love to somebody being sick in a bush, sorry Nia is hardly the place for a romantic proposal, but if you fancy someone in these circumstances you know its true love and that's why we're here today.

According to custom one of my roles as Best Man is to tell some stories about the groom and generally insult and ridicule him.

I was also given the task of making sure Bens’ ex girlfriends stayed clear of the wedding. This was actually made easy for me as there weren't that many in the first place!! He was obviously holding out for Nia

Ben and I have known each other and been good friends since our days at Rhiwbina Junior School. Where incidentally I know it is still eating away at him that in our standard four sports day 400 metre race, Ben managed to lead from the start, only to fall over a yard from the finishing line and be overtaken by myself and twelve other runners, and unfortunately he ended up last in the race!

I think I can speak for all the lads that Ben &amp I have grown up with to say that we have lead a colourful and eventful social life.

From high school to football tours to camping to holidays abroad.
On the journey there has been lots of laughter, tears, scrapes and brilliant night out, too many to mention, too few to remember!!

But we haven't forgotten everything, which brings me to my first story, which I assure you is definitely not a fairytale.
A lot of the stories that I can recall actually involved me as-well so I've had to leave those out for obvious reasons!

Here is one that involves Ben &amp Cardiff prisons’ very own Jim Fenner from bad girls – Dave Gould, another one of our close friends.

Ben &amp Dave went to Stockholm to visit Martin and his girlfriend Tonya Martin where are you?. The hotel they were staying in was actually a barge along the canal. Unfortunately there were a number of boats on the canal and not all of them were hotels. After an eventful night out on the town,if any of you have actually been out with Dave drinking at all, you will know one thing it defiantly will be is eventful. Dave managed to return safely to the hotel, but Ben ended up sleeping on another boat and was awoken by a barking dog and it's angry owner. He had every right to be shouting at Ben, I mean what would you do I you woke up in the morning to find a drunken British yob laying on your living room floor!
Then there was the night when we all went camping up to the Wenallt as we often did. At about 4.00 in the morning we all walked down the hill by the Deri Inn to pinch some milk for an early breakfast. Suddenly we saw a police car and Rhys pulled Ben into the nearest garden to hide behind a bush. “Whatever you do,” he said, “don't say a word.” the rest of us had scampered by this time.

After about ten minutes or so, Rhys noticed what he thought was a small man coming into the garden. It actually turned out to be a police dog, which was heading straight for their bush. Rhys didn't move a muscle as the ‘small man’ started sniffing around him. The dog ignored Rhys, and sank his teeth into Bens’ leg! Ben shouted, “ok, ok, you have got me I surrender”.

The police then intervened and restrained the ‘small man’. Rhys meanwhile, thinking he had got away with it breathed a sigh of relief until he heard Ben say “ come on then Rhys” turning to he police to say “ oh yes, there are two of us”, fortunately they both got away with just a caution.

Given that my own wife and I have been married for nearly two years feels like nearly 22 years!, I am in a rare position of being able to offer Ben advice on something that, for once, he does not know more about than me. I firmly believe that communication is important for as successful marriage, so here are a few female phrases for Ben to look out for and their proper meanings

“We need” means….”I want”. “Is my bum big ?” means…”Tell me I'm beautiful”, “Do you love me?” means…”I'm going to ask for something expensive”.

Seriously though I think marriage is not about finding some one you can live with, it's about finding someone you can't live without.
So when is this fairytale going to end? hopefully never.

They are obviously well suited and brilliant together and we know they will live happily ever after. So finally Ladies and Gentlemen, it's my great pleasure to ask you all to be upstanding and raise your glasses in a toast to the bride and groom….the new Mr. &amp Mrs. Russell.