Speech by Jason Hough

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jason Hough
Speech Date: Jun2006
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen. My name is Jason No 1 and as you have probably already gathered from the church, I have the honour of being Jason No 2’s Best Man.

Seeing that I am indeed the Best Man, I felt it only fitting to be known as Jason No 1 to save any unnecessary confusion, especially with the Priest!!

Although, I really wouldn't have minded because Sian looks absolutely stunning today!

Before I begin, I must take this opportunity to thank Sian and Jason No 2 on behalf of the Bridesmaids, Lisa, Lorna and Katie and also the pageboy, Ieuan Yayan, for their kind words and gifts. I am sure you will all agree they have done a great job today and all look fantastic clap.

Now as I mentioned, it is a great honour to be Best Man, but with the role comes the job of writing this speech, and to be honest, I wanted to make the process as easy as possible. So, where do you begin for ideas??

The obvious place seemed to be the internet, so with a multitude of resources at my fingertips, I dutifully began searching the web.

After only a couple of hours searching I found some REALLY good stuff on the net, but then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for Best Man tips!!

I did actually find loads of ready prepared speeches on the internet….but sadly NONE of them were about a couple called Sian and Jason No 2, who lived in Llandudno…….So it looks like it's down to me after all!!

As part of my research I discovered that according to tradition, I am supposed to sing the Grooms praises and tell you all about his many good points. Well I am very sorry, but I can't sing and being a police officer, I won't lie!!

Before joining Cheshire Police, nearly 12 years ago, I was a Special Constable in Llandudno. It was then that I was first introduced to Jason No 2, who was working in GIBBONS electrical and Hi@Fi shop in the town Centre.

It became immediately apparent to me that Jason No 2 shared my love of gadgets and big boy's toys. And this is where I am going to draw material for my speech from.

Jason No 2 has everything you can think of….The biggest TV, the loudest sound system, the latest electronic drum kit. He has numerous remote control cars, boats, planes and helicopters…..He has a purple Ford Escort Convertible!! Well I suppose it was the next logical step up from his Ford Capri with fluffy dice!!

Jason No 2 bought a second hand jet ski, so of course I had to buy a brand new one. Not long after, the urge became so great that he went and bought an even bigger brand new jet ski himself!

He had'nt told his dad about it, so he concealed it in my father's garage in Rhos Ooops!

We had some good times playing on our new toys. Once, a group of us skied out to Puffin Island. Jason No 2 had fallen off and was happily treading water in his nice warm wetsuit. Several seals jumped off the rocks and swam over to investigate this rubber clad creature that had encroached on their natural habitat.

Jason No 2 was fine until one of the large seals surfaced several feet behind him and it was at that point that I informed him that it was the “Mating Season”.

I have never seen such horror and shear panic on anyone's face before. He desperately tried to get out of the water and climb back onto his jet ski, but his frantic efforts and lack of balance kept throwing him back in.

After 30 seconds or so, he had lost all his energy and finally gave into fate.

After the large seal had decided that he wasn't really his type and swam off, we had to literally scoop Jason No 2 into an inflatable rubber ring and tow him all the back to Conway.

We soon got bored of those toys and eventually moved onto bigger and better things……Rollerblades.

Yes.… I am willing to admit to this because it is such a good example of Jason No 2’s highly competitive nature.

He had seen me skating along Llandudno prom doing all the usual tricks, skating backwards and generally showing off. At the time, I had a dog, a red Boxer called Bonnie. She was about 5 years old and in the prime of her life and would enjoy nothing more than pulling me along on my rollerblades like a Siberian Husky.

Jason No 2 bought some rollerblades. He bought a dog too, a red Boxer……and called her Bonnie. Cue cute picture!

This was Bonnie at the time.

I think Jason No 2 would agree, he is no feather weight. But still we would race each other up and down the prom.
After several written warnings from the RSPCA, we grew out of that fad too.

Jason…..… No 2. No more stories. Now the soppy stuff.

I don't need to tell you how much your friendship means to me. You are like a rock……well maybe a rather large boulder. You are kind, giving and above all, dependable.

As is customary, I should leave the Groom with a tale of wisdom –

10 men and a woman were suspended by a rope hanging from a balloon. They were rapidly loosing height and decided that one person should let go of the rope or else they would all die.

No one could decide who should let go, so finally the woman gave a really touching speech, saying how she would give up her life to save theirs because women are used to giving things up for their husbands and children, and after all, men were the superior sex and must be saved.

After she finished speaking, all the men clapped!

Never ever underestimate the power of a woman!!!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen: before we finish. There are obviously 2 very important people here today, without whom very little of this would have been possible. And the great thing is, as the evening progresses, most of us will get to spend more and more time talking to them.

So please join me in a very special toast…………The Bar Staff!

Jason…..and Sian have been together far longer than I have known them. To me, they have always been together.
They are the perfect couple and it is about time that they finally got married….and about time I concluded this speech!!

Please raise your glasses.

The happy couple……… Jason and Sian…….Mr and Mrs Hughes.

May your love be modern enough to survive the times yet old fashioned enough to last forever…..and as a wise man once said@

remember to force your 3rd and 4th finger apart or you won't do it.!!

“Live long and prosper!”