Speech by Jason Knight

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jason Knight
Speech Date: Mar 1999
Good afternoon Ladies and Gentleman, I am the Best Man and for those who don't know me, my name is Jason and I have some very important tasks to carry out today.

Firstly on behalf of the Bridesmaids, I'd like to thank Jon for his kind words. I have to agree Natasha looks wonderful and has done an excellent job today.

Let me start by saying that I think I know Jon better than anyone else in this room, even his parents, because there are a lot of extremely embarrassing things he's done that he has never told his parents.

I happened to bring a list of them also.

Just kidding, I wouldn't do that to you Jon.

I agreed to be Jon's best man anyway and I feel I have succeeded in my first duty, that of getting Jon to the church, sober, on time and eventually married.

I was introduced to Jon by Neil, our mutual friend who is sadly here today.

We first met at a Snooker hall in Camberley, where we for some reason didn't immediately hit it off. The first impression for me was his striking resemblance to Plug out of the Beano with his then skinny like appearance and big ears.

For the next few occasions we met, he fondly gave me a pet name similar to a part of the male anatomy and little did he realise that I would be standing here today.

We began to go out in a group of friends and after our initial misinterpretation; soon found that we shared many interests and our senses of humor were so similar.

So, starting from the beginning, Jon was born on 24th April 1972. I did try to link this with some big world event, but it seems that nothing else happened that day, so I thought I'd best ask Jean if I could borrow some embarrassing pictures that she might have; Jean replied "Oh do you want one where he's lying naked on the changing mat"?

But, I'm sorry Jon, no company in the UK could blow it up, so that you could actually see anything of any real consequence.

Now you may think that it would be difficult to speak about someone who, on the outside, may seem just a little too good to be true.

Jon was the one to choose the destination of his wild stag weekend in Amsterdam, but unfortunately there is no scandal to report on and no past problems regarding alcoholism, drug rehab or chronic gambling problems……….I mean, my parents love him.

But today, you will discover, that contrary to what his Mum might say, he isn't perfect.

I've known Jon for about 10 years, so only have hearsay and unsubstantiated gossip to go on before this, but as a wise old man once told me, never the truth get in the way of a good story.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depends on what way you look at it, I didn't know Jon at school so I've had to rely on his own version of events regarding his education.

Apparently Jon tells me, he was the perfect child: exceptionally gifted good as gold had no trouble at school, he even did his homework and the teachers liked him. By the sounds of it, he was one of those weird kids who liked writing poetry and pressing flowers.

This seems to be slightly contradicted by the stories I've heard from James Sxxxxxx who did happen to go to school with Jon. He tells me Jon was a rather annoying little child who excelled at nothing, constantly picked on other children, and regularly beat them up.

He left school to the great sadness of his headmaster and then successfully attended Hull University where he attained a third, sorry second class honours degree in Geography.

It was at University that Jon met Vikki on a Geography field trip to Berlin. As you probably know, Jon isn't known for his charm and eloquence and he didn't disappoint when he wooed Vikki.

This entailed the purchase of a Hard Rock Café keyring and a pint of beer. To leave his mark he bit her shoulder and left her with a bruise to remember him by.

Jon and I spent many days together during the long summer holidays whilst at home from University. We played football, cricket and regularly attended Pantiles night club. This was I where I was to witness the raw, and still undiscovered talent of Jons rhythm. Regularly he would empty the dancefloor with his Jon Travolta impression which would leave all the ladies speechless. So speechless in fact that they never spoke to him.

Once graduated in 1994 he returned to live at home so his extensive designer wardrobe could be laundered by his Mum. He then embarked on his career path as a Chartered Accountant with a local Chartered Accountancy firm.

I never really saw Jon as an accountant but due to his reluctance to be the first to the bar I soon realised why.

He was so keen and enthusiastic about his work that he would always be on time for his Audit appointments. In fact on one occasion he even turned up a week early.

By now Jon was beginning to settle back in at home and decided to make the most of this free time. Jon and I decided to take up Judo and visited the Budokan in Frimley every Monday night to be thrown around and choked like rags dolls by the black belt instructors. Jon looks so big and strong yet seemed to love being thrown around and winded by women half his size.

Jon also joined a local football team and was their star linesman come substitute. He was always reliable and very fair with the offside decisions. As his ex manager said whilst fighting back the tears, "A real tryer". Devastated to have lost such an asset the team folded due to financial difficulties just as he moved up to Leicester.

Apparently Jon had no involvement with the running of finances the club…………………….So he tells me.

We may be asking ourselves what Vikki sees in Jon, I regularly do as well. But they do say love is blind.

So I'd just like to say Jon, you are a lucky groom; marrying Vikki today. She deserves a good husband. So thank God you married her before she found one.

Finally I've been asked to read a couple of cards from friends and family who unfortunately couldn't be here today:

On a more serious note. Jon , we have had some excellent times together and I know that we will continue to do so in the future. You have been a great friend to me over the years, and it is a great honour to be your best man.

Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Jon and Vikki, the new Mr and Mrs Hxxx.

We wish them well for the future, and hope they enjoy a long, happy, and fruitful marriage.

Jon and Vikki….