Speech by Jason Parnaby

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jason Parnaby
Speech Date: aug 2001
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen… It's a real honour to be my dads best man – as well as slightly daunting so please bear with me…however he's assured me, that if I do a good job today he'll let me be the best man at his next wedding!! (….pause)

On behalf of the bridesmaids I would like to thank my dad for his kind words. It's been a privilege for myself and Kirsty one, Kirsty two, Laura and Hayley to be a part of this very special day for you both. I would like to thank the bridesmaids; they look lovely and performed their duties without a hitch…a little applause I think (…start clapping)
Yes the bridesmaids look wonderful and I would like to thank them for a wonderful day. It is unusual for both my sisters to look so nice but there is a first time for everything.!!! (….pause)

And as for the bride, I'd like to say how stunning you look in that fantastic white dress…..you won't have any trouble blending in with everything else in the kitchen!! (….pause)

And for a change, dad has scrubbed up quite nicely too!! Surprising what a flannel and bar of soap can do ehh!! Mind you, I'm not to pleased about him copying my outfit today!! (….pause)

Well I must get on as I am only going to talk for a few minutes because of my throat – Julie said she would cut it if I'm to long!!! (….pause)

Well what can I say about my Dad. He is wonderful, Kind, Generous, and gives me plenty of pocket money. – I think you will all realise he (point to dad) told me to put that bit in! (….pause)

To start with……

I have known my Dad all my life !!! (wait for laugh) and I am honoured he has asked me to be his best man today after all Uncle Jon was getting sick of doing it(….pause)

My teachers will be pleased to note that I have done a little history homework and found out a few notable events that were happening in the year he was born:

1. Peter Sellers and Britt Ekland married in London
2. Mods and rockers clash at seaside resorts
3. Top of the pops first broadcast
4. The Sun is first published in the UK
5. The head of the little mermaid in Copenhagen is sawn off and stolen
6.Mary Poppins wins 8 Oscars (point at Sharon and say) would Auntie Sharon like to sing any of the tunes for us???? (….pause)

So that's enough about the year dad was born; what was he like at my age? Scruffy, unclean, long hair and yes I know where I get my knobble knees from !!!(….pause)

According to his brother and sisters his bedroom was a tip and he would not touch a bar of soap if it hit him in the face.!!! (….pause)
Spending all his time outside with his mates …………and girls were something he knew nothing about.!!! nothing has changed there then(….pause)

So what was Julie like. Well at the age of 11 Julie was head girl at school and one of her most treasured possessions is this head girl badge

(open jacket to show badge)

Julie was the teachers pet and babysat for many of the teachers gaining many additional marks in the class. What an unlikely match they are.!!! (….pause)

As Sean got older he and his friends borrowed the family caravan. Where's Andy (point to Andy) Yes that fate full day when Sean got into a panic when Andy accidentally set fire to the caravan smoking a cigar.!!! Yes the DIY shop earned a fortune as they put the caravan back together again.!!! (….pause)
It's amazing what you get to know at weddings isn't it Grandma and Granddad (look over to them)

And then he gets even older and gets into bikes and girls although not necessarily in that order!!!! (….pause)and he has gone through a variety of models before of course settling on his trusty Vauxhall and of course Julie (….pause)

And so to Julie. Not having as much dirt to dish on Julie as my dad, so I'll keep this brief :
There are six words that describe Julie perfectly:-
Beautiful, Charming, Enchanting, Southern Comfort and Lemonade!! (….pause)

My best man's handbook had said that there were three key elements of a wedding ceremony, which are:
The aisle – it's the longest walk you'll ever take.
The altar – the place where two becomes one
And the hymn – the celebration of the marriage
I'm sure Julie had read the same book because as she took her place beside my dad I heard her whisper:
"Aisle, Altar, Hymn. I'll alter him." (….pause)

It is also my duty here to read a couple of cards and telegrams so here goes.…

(Read out 1 or 2 cards see Jon for these)

I would like to finish by offering some advice for a successful and happy marriage, which is great coming from an 11-year-old but anyway. (….pause)
Always remember to say those 3 important little words…”You're right dear” (….pause)

More seriously though, Finally on behalf of the bride and groom, I'd like to thank everyone here for sharing their day, particularly those who have travelled long distances.
(Turn to Dad and Julie,)
You mean more to all of us here than we could ever say, it would be a huge understatement to say ‘ We wish you well in everything… and I hope you both, enjoy this day as the first day of the rest of your life together’
Ladies and gentleman please join me in wishing Sean and Julie the very best for their new life together. To Sean and Julie (raise your glass)

(sit down and finish)