Speech by Javi

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Javi
Speech Date: 20/11/2014 15:16:48

Best Man Speech

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to thank all of you for being here today, especially those of you who knew that I'd be saying a few words – it's very touching that you still decided to come. My name is Javi and I have the dubious honour of being best man today. So what defines a best mans duties?  Well I did some research towards this speech, and being in IT I decided to look on the Internet. After a couple of hours, I finally found some really good stuff… unfortunately none of it had anything to do with being a best man. Eventually I came across a site that broadly described the best man duties as being – And I quote:

You must ensure that the groom arrives on time, …..is sober, and ..… is looking good. Well 2 out of 3 isn't bad. After all I'm only the best man, and you have to consider the raw materials to hand!  OK – Introductions out the way – Now for some thank you's Firstly, on behalf of the bridesmaids, I'd like to thank [GROOM] for his kind and thoughtful words. I'm sure we all agree that the bridesmaids look fantastic, and only rightly outshone by our bride, [BRIDE].  I do have to say how lucky you are [GROOM] You will leave here having gained a wife that is warm, loving and caring. She is funny, clever, and good looking. And [BRIDE], how lucky you are as well you leave today having gained a gorgeous dress and a lovely bouquet of flowers.

And, I'm sure you'll agree with me gentlemen, today is a sad day for single men, as another beauty leaves the available list. And ladies, I'm sure you'll agree that today's passing by without much of a ripple.

[GROOM] and [BRIDE] have also asked me to thank all the staff here at the Mytton & Mermaid for all their hard work and ensuring today goes as smoothly as possible.

I have also been asked to thank you all for coming and the gifts that you have so generously donated.. I must say I struggled to decide what to get, I wanted to give [GROOM] something he genuinely needed, but it's such a struggle to figure out how to wrap a bath!

And finally, although I've known here for many years now I would also like to take this opportunity to formally welcome [BRIDE] to our family, I don't think that [GROOM] could have picked anyone better to be his wife and the mother of their children 

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So before I formally begin [GROOM]’s character assassination I thought I better get some clearance from [BRIDE] as to what I could mention. Unfortunately I didn't think about doing this till about 10 mins ago when we walked into the place, she advised me of my do‘s and don'ts. She said:

Don't swear                                                                                       (Throw card) Don't tell risqué jokes                                                                    (Throw card) Don't mention anything to do with  Wooden spoon's and tea pots           (Throw card) Don't mention ex-girlfriends and the Stavvy Sidewinder               (Throw card) (Maybe we will see that on dance floor later??) ————————————————————————————————————————————-

STORY .…    3 days @ school..

Finish with needless to say it was all downhill from there!

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Of course [GROOM]’s trouble making wasn't always so innocent, he's had the honour of contributing towards getting Bomere Heath  (the local village where we grew up) voted as one of the worst places to live in Shropshire and has even been rugby tackled by a police man after drunkenly riding a horse in a local field. But as [GROOM] grew up he slowly but surely calmed down as most people do, thanks mostly to finding the love of his life.. Fishing!

I would like to reassure those people from [BRIDE]’s side of the family who may have not met [GROOM] and who maybe worrying what [BRIDE] has got herself into, he does have some redeeming features that we can talk about! he's… Handsome, Witty, Intelligent, he's got a huge ..… Sorry buddy what does that say??  He's got really bad handwriting!

In all honestly though, having gotten to know [GROOM] over the years, see his journey,  and watch him grow into the person you see here today I can safely say that he is great guy, a wonderful Dad, and completely devoted to [BRIDE] and his family. Most importantly he makes [BRIDE] as happy as she makes him and you can't ask for much more than that in any relationship!

————————————————————————————————————————————- *Maybe story about kindness*

I couldn't finish this speak without imparting some wise words that every couple should know before they start the great adventure that is marriage.

Firstly to [BRIDE]: Remember men are like floor tiles…………………… Lay them right first time and you can spend years walking all over them.

And to [GROOM]:  A lesson that I learnt very early on.  The most important part of any relationship is compromise, set ground rules and establish whose boss……….… Then do everything [BRIDE] says.

And finally before we sit down to our meal which I'm sure you are all eager to tuck into i would like to make a couple of toasts. Unfortunately, it's not been possible to have everyone we love here with us today. We have family in Spain, Mexico and Brazil who for one reason or another couldn't be here today.  Also I would like to mention our grandparents who have sadly passed away, both [GROOM] and myself were very close to our grandparents on both sides of the family but they never got to meet [BRIDE] and the Kids. I know that they would have loved them to bits and would be very proud of their grandson for marrying such a kind, beautiful, and wonderful person like [BRIDE]. – have you checked to see if there is anyone to mention on [BRIDE]’s side? 

So, with them in mind, would you please all stand, raise your glasses, & join me in a toast to absent family & friends. Over the past month I've spent plenty of time worrying about this speech and what I would say but the point of it only came to me when i finally sat down and began to write it and that is:

In all honesty nobody else could possibly stand where I am right now and feel more proud and honoured to be able to represent [GROOM] & [BRIDE] on this – one of most important day of their lives.  So if you would you please raise your glasses

May your love be modern enough to survive the times, but old fashioned enough to last forever.

To [GROOM] & [BRIDE]!