Speech by Jeff Sabathy

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jeff Sabathy
Speech Date: Aug 2001
I would like to welcome you all to this blissful union between Shawn and Melanie Villaroel.

I would especially like to thank all those who had traveled from abroad to join us to celebrate this wonderful occasion.

For those who do not know me, my name is Jeff and I have been best friends with the groom since we were 6 years old. So you can only imagine how much dirt I have gathered up over the years that I will gladly share with you all today.

Let me get right down to business…You know, I didn't think Shawn realized what he was getting himself into when he first decided to get married and subsequently chose me to be his best man.

You know, over the past 20 years (can you believe that it has been that long) that I have gotten to know this character we call Shawn, I have come to realize that he is a person with many hidden talents. Everyone knows his obvious talents, which are basketball and belching after a good meal. But let me take you through some of these less obvious ones.

1) For starters, in elementary school, Shawn was renowned for causing mischief but somehow had a knack for not getting caught, instead the rest of us would. We never understood this because it wasn't like he could sneak around unnoticed. After all, he was taller than most of the teachers by the time he was 9 years old!!!

2) His second hidden talent was his way with the ladies. Shawn epitomized the saying
“Tall, dark and handsome.” He had the perfect combination of brain and brawn. And along with his Barry White phone voice, I'm telling you …ladies didn't stand a chance. Man did Shawn have a gift. Those were the days boy. (shaking head) Not to worry Mel, that gift is long gone!!! He used the last of it winning you over! You don't remember do you? You see, a bunch of friends, along with Shawn and Mel went to a bar one night to have a few drinks. Everyone knows that it doesn't take the 6 foot 4, 200 pound Shawn much to get a little happy off the alcohol. Anyway, Shawn decided that he would share his exotic, or should I say erotic dancing skills with not only us but also the whole bar. He gave a private dance for Melanie that night. Honestly, over the time I have gotten to know Mel, I have come to the conclusion that it would take a lot to shock or embarrass her. But when Shawn was grappling her in the middle of that bar, I saw her blush for the first time. I think that clinched it for you Shawn!

3) However, his most endearing quality or talent was that he had the Midas touch…basically anything he touched turned to gold…unlike me where as anything I touch seems to never call me back!!! Anyway, that's beside the point. There is one situation that comes to mind:

1) First day of public school for me in grade 10-I was a little nervous because I went to an all boys’ school for 3 years and didn't have to worry about the way I looked for school because we all wore uniforms. The night before classes started he basically took one look at my no-sense of style, big haired private school self and by giving me one his infamous haircuts, and some fashion tips, he transformed me into a teen heartthrob…ok maybe that's exaggerating a bit!!!

It's funny but all during the day today, I have overheard people speaking so fondly of Shawn, from his family to his friends, I realized that everyone has him played out to be this gentle giant that has a heart of gold. This may be true in some instances but you all only get to see his Dr.Jeckel side. He reserves his Mr.Hyde side for me. You guys don't know about the evil Shawn, the manipulative Shawn, and the Shawn that treated me like a punching bag and as a result of this abuse, gave me three permanent scars. Let me tell you about each occasion because they all tell us a little about Shawn's character.

The first of these memorable occasions was during a little “friendly” game of darts we had when we were about 7 years old. Mr.competitive Shawn over there, swears to this day that it was an accident, but I know that he had revenge on his mind when he threw that rusted dart at my bonny legs and managed to penetrate all the layers of my skin. That was only the half of it, you see, I had to go to the emergency room at the Lakeshore General hospital, where both of my parents worked at the time, to get a Tetanus shot. Shawn, I will never forgive you for that!

The second time was when he stabbed me with a fork in his kitchen. He was trying to show me his awesome hand eye coordination and quickness by making it seem like he was stabbing me in the shoulder but turning the fork away at the last second. Unfortunately for me, Evil Kanevil over there planted that fork right into my shoulder. No tetanus shot that time but a nice scar to explain to my mom when I got home.

The last time was when Shawn, Mark who is Tamia's godfather, and I were walking down the street near our houses and simply were bored. We began to throw little, note that I am emphasizing the word “little”, rocks at each other's feet, notice again that I am emphasizing “feet”. Somehow, Shawn, maybe because of his twisted sense of depth perception, managed to launch a good size, sharp rock at my face and struck me right above my right eye which left me with a permanent reminder that I should have filed for a 50 yard restraining order after the first two incidents!!! You know I still love ya V!

Shawn, you know I could sit up here and ramble on and on about the good, the bad and the ugly times that we shared together over the past 20 years but honestly, I care deeply about these wonderful people here at the reception and I can see some of them giving me the “wrap it up” sign so I will.

Shawn, I will always remember the good times, whether it was getting an extra meal at each of our houses, whether it was making demo rap tapes in your basement (trust me we had talent) whether it was playing tennis in the dark at Allard park (for which we had no talent) or stripping down and sliding across the Riverdale football field on a rainy night. I told you we were close!!! We are so close in fact, that we even share the same sports injury. We both tore the same ligament in our knee playing the sports we both love. If that is not coincidence enough for you try this out for size. After elementary school, we both went our separate ways, Shawn to public school and I to private school as I mentioned earlier. We rarely spoke for close to three years until one day in the summer of grade 9, I decided to give him a call to see what was up. When I picked up the phone to dial, I heard a “hello” on the other end, it was Shawn. I nearly dropped the phone. What are the odds of that occurring, not once, but three times with the same person, I think a higher power was at work there.

But on a more serious note, Shawn, the first time I heard you say that you were getting married and going to be a father, I thought that it would change things between us. And it has, but in a way that has brought us even closer together. I am, however, extremely jealous of the fact that you have found you're true love and you're true happiness.
Mel, take good care of my Shawn. Because just as he is, in your heart, your soul mate, he is, in my eyes, my soul brother and soul friend.

You gotta love Shawn, simply for the fact that he can't hide his feelings as most of us can and that is the reason why he has that huge smile up there instead of his usual grin. V, I love you with all my heart and I can't wait for the day that you will be the best man at my wedding. I can't wait for the day I will tell you that I am to be a father as well. And after all this, I especially can't wait for the day when are kids can play together in our backyards as we rub our bellies and reminisce about old times.

Shawn, I know you chose me to be your best man, call me corny, but everyone here that knows you, knows that you are definitely the best, and luckiest man here today. When I wrote this speech, I searched high and low for four words that would accurately describe what type of person Shawn is. It's funny but by using the four letters that he will be wearing on his Royal Canadian mounted police uniform, I found my answer. For one, you are “Real”, two, you are “compassionate”, three, you are multi-talented and four, in my eyes, you are “Perfect.”

Can I please ask you all to stand and join me in a toast to this humble man we all love.
Shawn…Mel, may your love be modern enough to survive the times, and old fashioned enough to last forever.
So it leaves me with no further to do, but to ask you all to raise your glasses to
Shawn and Mel
The new Mr. and Mrs. Villaroel
The bride and groom! ! ! !