Speech by Joel Oxley

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Joel Oxley
Speech Date: May 2002
Firstly.. On behalf of the Bridesmaid Lorna and Corinne, I'd like to thank Andy for the nice words given to them and I'm sure you will all agree that they look lovely and have done a great job in getting the Bride .. Andrea to the church on time – considering its Andy that was there waiting for her.

Well, today is my first experience of public speaking, and so, whether you're laughing WITH me, or even AT me, as long as you're enjoying yourself I don't mind and Im pretty nervous so you'll have to forgive me If I take the Gareth Gates approach to public speaking!

Secondly, Id like to thank more than anyone Andy as a fellow Arsenal Supporter for throwing this well deserved party for winning the double! It was very clever of him to disguise it as a wedding, I'd like to see what he comes up with next year when we win the champions league!

Being my first public speech and all In preparation for today I was rather worried about how long the speech should be so, I asked a wise old man how long it should last for. He told me that it should last for about as long as it takes for the groom to make love. So with that, Ladies and Gentlemen, thank you very much!

(SIT DOWN. WAIT A FEW SECS AND STAND UP).

Seriously though as for the happy couple I'm sure you'll all agree that Andrea is looking fabulous today in such a beautiful dress….… and Andy, well he looks ok!

When Andy first asked me to be the best man, I immediately thought WHY ME, I assumed everyone else had turned him down? But then I thought about it and realised that I would be there to honour him on this great day.

And it is a great honour to be Andys Best Man today although not an easy job for anyone as I've found out. But he promised me if I do a good job today then he'd let me be best man again at his next wedding, so I couldn't say no!

For the stag party we went to Amsterdam to take in the art galleries, museums etc, unfortunately the pubs proved too much of a distraction and we didn't get to see any of that much to Andys disappointment. I think the most cultural thing some of us managed was accidentally get on a tour boat that we thought was a tour taxi.

Andy did make a new friend whilst we were out in Amsterdam in the form of a gorilla which probably won't mean much to most of you, although I'm not going to tell you this story now. I'm sure Andy won't mind telling you about it if you ask him nicely later. But I think everyone had a brilliant time and we'll all remember it for a long time to come!

So as pretty much everyone knows Andy works at ********* which is where he met Andrea and from speaking to Andy about his work what he doesn't know about ***** ain't worth knowing, or at least he makes out. When they did finally get together they hit it off really well and I honestly thought that would be the last we'll see of Andy down the pub, but he does still manage to come down with us which is nice of Andrea to let him out!

One story about the effect Andrea has had on Andy that made me chuckle happened last year after we had been out to the pub on a Friday night. The taxi had dropped Andy off at home and taken the rest of us down the road to drop us off. After I got home I received a text message from Andy saying that someone had ripped one of the plants out of his front garden and thrown it over his neighbours fence, which isn't funny. What I did find funny was a year earlier if someone wanted to go near that ‘garden’ and rip anything out the ground Andy would have happily paid them danger money do so. To say that the garden was a little overgrown before Andrea moved in is an understatement.

I have spent a lot of time with Andy and Andrea since they have been together, so I have seen how well they get on. Their house has over the past 6 months been like a weekend residence for me with the living room sofa being my bed!

Another thing that has happened since they have been together is that they have completely redecorated their house together! I was even lucky enough to get to help Andy put his bedroom wardrobes together and rip wallpaper off the living room walls which I was paid in Pizza for! One thing I was glad about was when they got a bed because there other one was rather squeaky and kept me awake at night, only if it was for about as along as it took me to start the speak and sit down again anyway. The bed however was not as noisy as Andrea but that's a different story altogether.

No seriously now Andy you are one lucky man! You married Andrea today and she is smart, funny, loving, considerate, self confident, caring. She really deserves a good husband. Thank god she married you before she found one!

Joking apart, I know that Andy and Andrea have put a tremendous amount of hard work in the organisation of the events of today. Anyone who has seen the two of them together will know how well they get on and how happy they make each other. I think if anyone who is going to make this commitment to each other, if anyone is going to make it then these two will, I know they'll make each other happy which is exactly what they both deserve!! And as they say in a film that I was sad enough to take the morning off work to go and see the other day… May divorce be with you!!!!!

Now all that's left for me to do Ladies and Gentlemen is to ask you all to rise …and raise your glasses to the newlyweds Mr and Mrs Hancock