Speech by John Baird

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: John Baird
Speech Date: 11/05/2016 01:53:18

Now, before I start, the manager of this place has asked me to request that, for reasons of health and safety, none of you get up on the tables during my standing ovation

Now then good afternoon lords & ladies, boys and girls if your bear with me for a few minutes of my deranged rambling it's not a long speech for the sake of my throat, Kerry said she'll cut it if i go on too long

For those of you who don't know me my names John for those that do i apologise and today i am appointed best man , i am of course a bit nervous but it's a good consolation I'm not the only nervous one here but then she has just married Steve

I would like to start with a couple of toasts.

On behalf of the bride and groom I would like to thank you all for your attendance today in celebration of their marriage.

Kerry, you look amazing today your dress is stunning , Steve you just looked stunned.

The bridesmaids looked amazing as well and have done a great job in helping Kerry look as beautiful as she does

So please raise your glasses to toast the bridesmaids Hayley, Kerry and Chloe and Maid of Honour Courtney for doing such a wonderful job especially getting Mrs Ches to the service as I hear that was quite a struggle and to Mitchell who looked really smart for his ring bearer duty.

When Steve approached me last year he said it's happening mate I'm marrying Kerry and he asked me to do the duty of being best man, well after only knowing him six years and him being a very popular guy who has many many friends not all of them are fish to be asked to be best man was obviously a great honour and i won't let it dent my confidence that his reason was that i was the least likely to be in prison on the day

These two have been together for a very long time seven years…..SEVEN years , instead of the Wedding March they should have played the Hallelujah Chorus, but Steve has kept to his promise that he would get married the year Leicester won the premier league

When i started writing this speech i decided two things no innuendos so if i spot one ill just whip it out and secondly not to embarrass Steve in my speech. I decided against that as I realised that he will do that himself on the dance floor later anyway.

I met Steve through work a good number of years ago and then met Kerry who within weeks was telling me off for my bachelor ways and i could see the very caring side of her which is a side of her much appreciated by Mitchell and Chloe in the way she takes care of them not to mention her eldest child Steve here who is in need of a lot of looking after and constant supervision.

Those who know Steve knows he always wants the best whether it be fish tanks electric cars or golf and this is proven in his choice of bride, and Steve is a very lucky man to have found a woman who is beautiful, funny, caring and most of all, willing to put up with him, she has said Steve has matured over the years like a fine wine , he started out as sour grapes she stomped on him a lot when it was dark and now he has matured into something she can have dinner with.

So “when a child is born” Johnny Mathis, it was number 1 on the day Ches was born and brought into the world of bright lights and tunes which were soon to become his life when he discovered fruit machines but since then Kerry has made him see that a few nudges at home is a lot better(nudge nudge gesture).

Steve also have a liking for the cards in casinos Kerry explained that two hearts and a diamond is all that is needed even if she did add later she wished she had a club and a spade.

i asked the happy couple a while back what they do they want out this wedding and Kerry replied love happiness and a long life together with my soul mate, i gave the same question to Steve and he replied “just get us a new toaster or kettle geez”

To finish up I'd like to thank you both for the honour of being your BM today Steve is a great friend to have and the first to show me the nightlife Southend has when i first moved here and Kerry a truly lovely woman and i wish you both a long and happy life together and it now gives me great pleasure to say to all to raise your glass or a round of applause for Mr and Mrs Chesworth Steve and Kerry