Speech by John Bloomfield

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: John Bloomfield
Speech Date: 11/07/2011 17:00:58

I would like to thank you all for coming today and helping to make Robbie and Caroline's wedding day such a memorable and special occasion for all those involved. Personally I wish you'd all stayed at home and made my job a lot easier!

For those that don't know me, my name is John or most people call me Bloomers.

I was both delighted, and honoured to be chosen, though I must confess to being a little nervous as I stand before you, as public speaking has never been my thing. This is the sixth time today that I've got up from a warm seat with a few sheets of paper in my hand.

I suppose the first thing the best man should explain is how he knows the groom.

Our parents were friends before we were born and being born just a week apart we like to tell people we have known each other from day one.  

Having known someone that long we've experienced some of life's first experiences together. 

For example Robbie was the first person to call me by my nickname Bloomers, a name he took great pleasure in informing me was old ladies knickers. 

Second big first for us was my first trip to Upton Park.  Phil and Robbie took me to my first ever West Ham game.  Needless to say we lost.

There's a few more but the most I guess the most interesting would be Robbie introducing me to adult entertainment. Being the first person I remember having the internet in his bedroom we spent hours waiting for one topless picture to download.  One evening he showed me a present from his parents.  The Lovers guide… I guess this was to help Rob once he met a girl…  Caroline I won't
ask how that's working out for you. 

My main duty other than today was to arrange the stag weekend.  I'd like to thank all the boys for coming along and making it very memorable. It was a weekend full of culture and sight-seeing.  Well there wasn't much culture but there certainly were some sights.

One of my duty's today is to make sure that certain people are thanked for their part in today.  I'd like to start with a couple of people, who quite frankly have had it fairly easy today. All they have really had to do is stand around looking pretty. But it is worth saying that that they have spent a lot of time on their hair, make-up and outfits…and without them, the day just wouldn't have been complete.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the Ushers, Fletch and Mase…

I would like to thank the bridesmaids ?? and ?? they all look beautiful in their dresses.  They are only rightly outshone by Caroline herself. Who is the focus of everyone's attention today, I'm sure you will agree she looks stunning.  Robbie, you haven't scrubbed up to badly yourself!

Robbie once mentioned to me Caroline is one of the best things that's ever happened to him. 

That and his ginger hair failing out. 

Robbie, I've read that's it tradition to offer you some advice today.

Never be complacent, always keep an eye out for those little tell tail signs in your relationship……….like if you see the milkman wearing your socks.

Also just remember it only takes a couple of words mumbled in chapel and you're married. But it only takes a couple of words mumbled in your SLEEP and you're divorced!

I spent the last few month worrying about this speech but the point of it only came to me yesterday and that is:

Nobody else could possibly stand where I am right now and feel more proud and honoured than me to be able to represent Rob on this – the most important day of his life.

I look forward to being a part of their lives and having them both as a part of my life for many many years to come.

It now gives me immense pleasure, not to mention relief to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses to the new

Mr & Mrs McLaren To Robbie and Caroline

Thank you and enjoy the rest of the day.