Speech by John Bowen

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: John Bowen
Speech Date: 03/05/2010 10:38:18

I'd like to begin by saying a few words of thanks to everyone who helped make today possible: Lee's parents, Sarah's parents, the ushers, and of course all of you for coming to share in this very special occasion. 

Can I also say thank-you to Lee and Sarah personally for being kind enough to let me play a small part in their big day, and on behalf of their bridesmaids, who did a wonderful job and whom I'm sure you'll all agree look fantastic, eclipsed only by Sarah, who looks, well, just amazing.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is John, and I'm Lee's friend, cousin, and, for today at least, his best man.

In short, that means it was my responsibility to ensure he got to the church on time this afternoon, looking smart, and handsome.

The first of these was straightforward enough; the second was pretty much taken care of by the men's outfitters, and the last? Well, the job description was ‘best man’ not genie…

It's simply a fact that I've known Lee my entire life, and as you might expect that means he crops up often my childhood memories and formative years, from patrolling the mean streets of Frankely's Charnwood close together, pretending to fight crime as Spiderman and the hulk – I was the hulk, by the way, Lee was Spidey – I think we agreed that I had the better physique, and he would look better in a mask…

…to our teens and those early adventures in pubs and clubs…

Anyone who knew Lee in those days will recall that he was something of a trailblazer when it came to fashion. 

In fact, I saw an old friend of ours a couple of weeks ago and asked him what he remembered about the first time Lee came out drinking with us. 

He said that, if his memory served him correctly, Lee was wearing a trilby, and a pair of trousers in a fit that would have made coco the clown stop and think twice.

True, this is the 80s I'm talking about, but even so, should anyone around that time have questioned Lee's courage; one peek into his wardrobe would have instantly set them right. 

Then, there were the ‘lads holidays’ abroad…

(Off microphone, but loud enough to hear) …Remind me again Lee, what was it we agreed, eighty quid?)

…About which, strangely, I remember nothing.    

I was also lucky enough to be Lee's neighbour for many years. I actually bought the flat next door to his. Being relatively new to the home owner thing I sought his advice regarding my household finances, and while I quickly discovered that this was akin to asking Godzilla for advice on city planning, it was still fun to have him right next door.  

I can only assume that he felt the same way, because when I moved, he moved too: ten doors down from me.

There is, however, a memory I have featuring Lee that's particularly special – and that's when he was best man at my wedding twelve years ago. It's a real treat for me to be able to return the favor here today.

No one was happier than I was when Lee met Sarah again; seeing their romance blossom was like watching a fairytale unfold, and, sure, I know what some of you are thinking, ‘what fairytale's that John – ‘Beauty And The Beast’?

Well, no, the fairy tale I actually had in mind was… ‘Sleeping Beauty.’

Now you might be forgiven for thinking that it's Sarah who takes the part of sleeping beauty in this analogy, but you'd be wrong, and I'm going to tell you why that is.

Shortly before he met Sarah again, Lee and I had a conversation, in which the topic of relationships came up, so I asked him ‘was he still open to the idea of meeting that special someone?’

Nah, he says. 

Fine being single, thanks. 

No time for a relationship. 

Too many commitments… 

Not interested. Simple. As. That.

And while I didn't believe that, I think, maybe, he was starting to.

This might sound sentimental, but to completely abandon the idea that the person you're meant to be with might not still be out there somewhere… Well, I think you might as well be dead inside.

Turned out Lee was only sleeping, he was just waiting for Sarah to come along and wake him up.

To underline this amazing reversal, I'm going to read you, in an only slightly unforgivable betrayal of trust, a line from an email exchange Lee and I shared not long after he and Sarah got together.

(Clear throat – place hand on heart)

I quote, ‘it feels like my whole life has changed overnight.’

And hey, who on Lee's facebook friends list can forget the epic status update, (hand on heart again) 

‘I know this feeling will never end’?

Yes, as incredible as it seems, behind that tough exterior, slightly above and to the left of a liver that's surely pickled half to hell, beats the heart of a true romantic.

I really am pleased we're all here today. Lee's a great bloke, and the closest thing I've got to a big brother, and he deserves the wonderful future I know he and Sarah are going to share together.

On that note, can I finish by asking you all to raise a glass and join me in a toast to the happy couple.

* Raise glass *

To Lee and Sarah – ‘we know this feeling will never end.’