Speech by John Taylor

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: John Taylor
Speech Date: Jul2007
Ladies and Gentlemen

Hello and wecome, my name is John and I'm an alcoholic…..… Oh sorry wrong day that's Mondays.

Firstly as an older brother I'd like to thank Kevin for asking me to be his best man, and putting me through the wonderful build up of waiting to deliver this speech. The last time I was this nervous was when I was waiting for him to get a round in!

One of my duty`s is to make sure that certain people are thanked for their part in today, so I'd like to take some time to thank a few people who on the face of it have a fairly easy day –

they have to cope with all the difficulties of standing around pouting and looking pretty, they've spent a lot of time and on their hair and make up and outfits, and without them the day just wouldn't be Trishas – ladies and gentlemen, I give you the groomsmen – John &ampDamien.

I'd like to thank Kevin on behalf of the lovely Bridesmaids, flower girl Katie,Pageboy Adam and of course myself for his kind words. I know you'll agree how lovely the bridesmaids are looking today and what a fantastic job they have done today in helping Trisha's day go perfectly.

So if I can ask you all too please stand for my first toast which is for the Bridesmaids and the groomsmen. The Bridesmaids and the groomsmen.

I also like to mention, and I'm sure you'll all agree that both bride and grooms mothers are looking really splendid today.

THE SAME MUST ALSO BE SAID ABOUT Trisha, WHO I THINK YOU””LL ALL AGREE LOOKS STUNNING. And Kevin, well he just looks absolutely stunned.

Also it gives me a great pleasure that these two families are as 1 today and on behalf of my mam and family I like to welcome Trisha and family into ours . Thanks very much Noel for your kind words also.

With regards to myself, I think that my duties as Best Man to get Kevin here.

•On time, which is a first?

•Sober, which is unusual?

•AND SMART, which is unheard of.

Have all been very successful!

One task that a best man has is to tell embarrassing stories about the groom. Well I've thought about these and there really aren't really that many. I could mention ex – girlfriends but they mysteriously disappeared during the Foot and Mouth epidemic.

Before the service this morning I was just talking to Trisha‘s mum, and we remarked on how it's funny how history repeats itself… not twenty years ago, he was sending Trisha to bed with a dummy, … and now here we are again!

Now it's customary for the best man to give some words of wisdom to the newly weds on marriage. Now me being not married myself, I can't speak from experience so I went out looking for happily married couples that could offer some advice… I'm still looking.

long pause

However said loudly I've drawn up my own words of advice.

Number 1. Firstly, set the ground rules and establish who's the boss…… then do everything she says!

Number 2. The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

Number 3. To help the course of true love run smooth, never forget those three very important words you must say every day… your right Trish!

Number 4. .Always I repeat always maintain a good relationship with your mother in-law. I once knew a lad who didn't speak to his for a good 2 years! When I asked him about this he simply said he didn't want to interrupt!!

And number 5.This ones for you Trish! Don't keep him in the dog house too long or he might give his bone to the woman next door!!

I'd now like to ask Kevin and Trish to participate in the speech now. Trish if I can ask you to place your hand flat on the table… OK Kevin, if you could like place your hand directly on top of Trish's. Now Enjoy that Kevin? Make the most of it, it's the last time you'll have the upper hand.

In all seriousness though, My final words to you, Kevin and Trish are that I'm honoured and very proud to be best man here today and I am so pleased that Kevin has found such a wonderful and loving wife.

I have no doubt that your love will be modern enough to survive the times and old fashioned enough to last forever.

Ok now I would like to read out some telegrams

To Kevin and Trish hope yer day lives with ye forever Love and best wishes

Annette ,Brad Sean Erin Ps see you shortly

To Kevin we could have been so good together I will miss our nights by the pool

Lots of love Michael Barrymore

TO Trish and Kevin hope you have a lovely day, sorry we can be there ,lots of love MR and MRS Farkin…………..and the whole Farkin family

And Finally:

Ladies and gentlemen, It now gives me great pleasure… and relief to thank you for your time and to ask you all to stand and raise your glasses, and join me in a toast to the bride and groom.

The bride and groom