Speech by Joseph Hallam

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Joseph Hallam
Speech Date: Jul 2009
I'll try and keep it briefSmile

Good Afternoon Ladies and Gentleman, Boys and Girls….and of course Alan!

Thankyou for that Dom Jolly introduction….SMILE

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Joe and for those of you that do…Well I apolygise.
My full name is actually Joe WOULDULIKEADRINK.
For those of you who I meet at the bar later i'd appreciate it if you could use my full name!

I think you will agree that Eva looks one in a million today as opposed to Alan who looks as he's been won in a raffle!

It is customary to fill a best man speech with amusing anecdotes of the grooms past mister miners, unfortunately I would incriminate myself in said events.
So I sharn't be venturing to far down that road today……
However I would be neglecting my duties as best man if I didn't make him squirm just a bit!

14 years i've known Alan, the first words he shouted at me where “Who's round is it? get the beers in you so and so”.
Alan has been pretty consistant with that phrase ever since we worked together as Butlins bar staff in Wales.
Butlins was the catalyst for many pickles we have got into over the years.

For instance …the time we tipped an abusive drunken customer into a wheelie bin so he could sober up and reflect upon his harsh words to us hardworking bar staff. SMILE

Or pushing Alan to Accident &amp Emergency in a Kwik Save shopping trolley when he'd sprained his wrist on a night out.Then being advised by a passing police patrol that we should continue our journey in a taxi.

Another time we where on a jolly boys outing to the Aintree Grand National, when Alan somehow got barricaded in a portaloo on the middle of the race course .I wish I'd videod this one.… hundreds of laughing and jeering spectators where witness to a very vocal portaloo using some choice words.

I know a lot of people here today are probaly wondering what Eva sees in Alan, In all honesty I can tell you that……………….I don't know either!

I do see similar traits in Alan and Eva, they are both kind,caring,well suited and obviously madly in love..…
They also both have a good sense of humour-well they're going to need one marrying each othersmile.

I asked Alan what he was looking for in marriage, he replied “Love, happiness and eventually a family”
When I asked Eva the same question, she replied “A TOASTER”smile

So with great honour may I be allowed to present to you the first toaster of the day!SMILE and Present..…

I'd like to finish upbefore I get a toaster thrown at me! by saying what a great honour its been to be best man today.

Joking aside I'm sure I speak for everyone in wishing you a long happy marriage and may your familys be one.
On behalf of the bride and groom I'd like to thank everyone for sharing their special day.

So lets be upstanding with charged glasses raised high!

To Alan and Eva…the new Mr and Mrs Harris

The Bride and Groom.

drink

The End.