Speech by Jud Gray

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Jud Gray
Speech Date: Jun 2002
Good afternoon I'd like to start by welcoming you all to this Russ and Alison's special day, I know how much it means to both of them to see so many of their family and friends here .

I'd like to thank Russ for his kind words about the bridesmaids I'm sure you'll all agree they have done a great job today and all of them look stunning, and a special mention for Ellis who has also done a fantastic job as page boy.

It's been said that doing the best mans speech is like being asked to make love to the Queen, it's a great honour but nobody wants to do it.

And I don't mind telling you that I am very nervous and this is not the first time today I've got up off a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

But it is a great honour and I'd like to thank Russ for asking me to be his best man and he also promised that if I make a good job of it today I can be his best man at his next wedding.

I have taken the job of being best man seriously and a few of my jobs were..… to make sure Russ got to church on time, which he was, that he was well dressed and looking smart which I'm sure you will agree he is, and he got a good nights sleep last night, and I'm pleased to report he slept like a baby….he woke up every half hour crying for his mum.

I've known Russ about 26 years which is a large part of our lives, and I'd like to share with you a few of the things we have been through.

Like the time he knocked my front teeth out by getting me to put my teeth on the metal frame of a swing and hitting it with a metal bar .The end result being, the vibration off the swing helping me to lose my two front teeth. Thanks Russ.

And I think Nez would also like to thank him for knocking his front teeth out as well. This time by pushing him down an icy slope on castle hill, but with the same result of removing front teeth.

Another time just after leaving school we went on our first lad's holiday to Skeggy and Russ’ idea of a joke was to lock one of the lads in the toilet one morning and go into Ingolmels for the day, letting him out 6 hours and 3 baths later.

Now on a more recent note…many of you will know, about a month ago 12 of us set off on Russ’ stag do to Amsterdam where we went to smoke…Er I mean sample some European culture.

When we planned the weekend it was my job to arrange the accommodation, so I don't think it came as a surprise to anyone that when we arrived in Amsterdam we had no where to stop.
But luckily for us we met a nice local man on the train who took us to the tourist information where they had a list of available rooms. He then came with us to our rooms just to make sure we weren't being ripped off and even offered to take us to a bar when we were unpacked and buy us all a drink. At this stage his kindness started to scare me a bit and I came to the conclusion that he was either a very good Samaritan or a pimp looking for punters. Any way we made our excuses and he left.

As you can imagine there was a lot of drinking being done and when we needed a bit of a break from the beer we'd go and have a look in the shop windows. It's amazing what you can buy from shops theses days.

My last words on the stag do are that everybody had a fantastic time and everyone got home in one
piece and with there clothes on, which doesn't always happen.

But on a more serious note Russ as been a great mate over the years and has always helped me when I've needed it, and knowing the kind of man he is I had no hesitation in asking him to be the god father of my daughter Abbie.

He's also a pretty good footballer, the only problem being if he doesn't score he goes into a sulk….Alison assures me this is still the case.

Now onto Alison what can I say except she's kind, Caring and Intelligent and a woman like that deserves a good husband, so it's lucky for Russ he got in there before she found one.

But she has got some skeletons in the closet but I can't talk about them because of my throat….she threatened to strangle me if I do.

But joking apart I think Alison looks absolutely stunning today and Russ is a very lucky man.

Russ and Alison look brilliant together and very happy, and anyone that sees them together will realise that they're more than just Husband and Wife they are also best friends with lots in common which I think will see them together for many years to come.And I'd like to wish them all the happiness in the world, and Russ, Alison that comes from the bottom of my heart.
Anyway that's enough of the emotional stuff look the cakes in tiers.

I'd just like to read a few cards sent to the happy couple from yourselves.
READ SOME CARDS

And now if you would all like to stand and raise your glasses and join me in a toast.

WISHING THEM A LONG AND HAPPY MARRIAGE TO RUSS AND ALISON.

I'd like to finish by thanking you for laughing at some of my jokes, and I hope you all have a
brilliant time the rest of the day. Right that's me done I'm off to see if the Queens available.