Speech by Justin King

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Justin King
Speech Date: May2007
Thank you Gavin, I hope you made the most of that speech, it's the last time as a married man you will get to speak for 5 minutes without interruption!

Before I begin, Charlie would you place your right hand on the table, Gavin will you place your left hand on top of Charlie's – Thank you, all will be revealed in good time.

Hello and welcome everyone to this very special occasion – a celebration of Gavin and Charlie's marriage. My name is Justin and it is a great honour to be Best Man. The worst part has been writing this speech. Like so many, I have used the internet for some inspiration. I began searching the web and after a couple of hours found some REALLY good stuff, then I remembered I was supposed to be looking for best man tips and not pictures!!

I have taken all the other best man duties very responsibly, it was my job to to make sure he had a good hearty breakfast too calm his nerves – which he did!
to ensure he looks smart for a change – which incredibly he does
make sure Mr Fisk was at the church on time – which he was

It is also my job to say a big thank you to the bridesmaids
Catherine
Emily

And thank you to little Rowan who has been Page Boy today.

They have done a marvellous job in helping Charlie today, and the bridesmaids both look fantastic and Rowen so handsome – Clap

Thank you to the ushers
Paul
Laurence
Tim

They have done a great job of ushering, not an easy task with the type of crowd we have here today.

Thank you – everyone involved in the organisation of the wedding, everything has gone so well – it has been organised with precision.

Indeed, they are only eclipsed by one person – Charlie herself – who looks absolutely stunning today. Very beautiful.

Finally – thank you to everyone for attending. It still amazes me how far people will travel for a free meal and some complimentary booze! – I think New Zealand is the furthest.
One quote I found was “ A good speech is like a MINI SKIRT – SHORT enough to be interesting but LONG enough to cover the ESSENTIALS, so here goes, on giving Gavin the most uncomfortable 5 minutes.

Well, Gavin was born on 23 August 1978. A difficult birth I am told, weighing in at very reasonable 9lbs and 14 ounces.

In 1978, a lot happened – not sure they are linked to Gavin but –
The same year that The Smurfs appear on TV for the first time
The first multi functional food processor is launched
World's first test tube baby is born – is that you?
”Superman” starring Christopher Reeve is released
Gavin also shares a birthday with Gene Kelly, Vera Miles actress in Hitchcocks movies and Peter Wyngarde played Jason King in the 70’s TV series

It is tradition to tell stories about the Groom at the wedding. Some are interesting to tell, and others that are funny but can't really be told – like the time Gavin invented stories about himself and sent them to the Readers Letters section of Playboy magazine would be a perfect example…

In my research, it became a little tricky to find some stories about Gavin. I have asked around and this is what I found out………

Gavin is an expert at the internet and shopping online – Not. Do not rely on Gavin to make the correct purchases for you. Just recently Gavin went on line in search of the latest shiny white trainers. He found the pair he was looking for on an American website – at a bargain price – half the price of English websites. Not wanting to miss such a bargain, Gavin ordered two pairs.
A few days later, a box arrives, a little small Gavin thought, but on opening the box – imagine his surprise, Gavin had only ordered BOYS Size 11 trainers.

Gavin is a hardened drinker – of water and coke. Baileys always seemed to be his only favourite alcoholic tipple. However, on his stag doo, Gavin was seen to drink half pints and made a bottle of Bud last over an hour. His excessive drinking that night does give him an excuse for his poor betting on the dogs and anything else he may have done!

I have worked with Gavin whilst he worked at Ipswich Borough. There we shared some interesting and fun times. I tried to delve into Gavin's past jobs – one was working at Iceland. – a double edged sword for Gavin – surrounded by one of his main passions in life, but also at the risk of being sacked at any moment for eating on the job!
Iceland also taught Gavin some other tricks of life. How to operate CCTV systems and tannoy messages to colleagues. Yes, Gavin was known to use the CCTV to spot the good looking girls, use tannoy messages and within seconds Gavin would be in that isle stacking the shelves!

Though it was not in the isles of the local supermarket that Gavin flirted with Charlie. In fact, we have Nicola to thank for bringing Gavin and Charlie together on a blind date.

My mate does have a habit of getting nervous, and sometimes when he gets nervous it has disastrous consequences. Anyway, I think it is nerves. You see, not many people know this, but I have been carrying this bag around with me all day.
Fortunately with Gavin's speech out of the way, I hope it is no longer needed, you see, the last time Gavin was sick was just moments before Gavin proposed to Charlie in Paris.

As well as being sick, Gavin often complains of feeling poorly and unwell. Gavin has also planned to be unwell on his honeymoon. I know this because he has told Charlie to pack her nurses uniform into the honeymoon case!

When Gavin told me he had proposed, I was delighted though slightly worried. Where was he going to book the honeymoon? Gavin has developed a reputation for booking high class accommodation, in stylish locations, so how was he going to better this?
I knew Charlie would be expecting a lot more that the collect 5 tokens from the Sun holidays in a caravan without working heating, that she has had to endure so far. However, I have been reassured after seeing pictures of the hotel on the internet – thank god he did not book it over the internet as they could be back in a caravan!

It is tradition for me to speak about all Gavin's ex girlfriends, but in the last 6 years I have known Gavin, I have only known Gavin to be with Charlie and before then, one other girl – she was very good looking but very quiet, sadly that relationship deflated when she got a puncture.

I know Gavin has been taking the wedding ceremony seriously and trying to understand what marriage is about. I know he has been pondering why Charlie got married in a white dress today. I heard Gavin ask his new father in law, who carefully explained that white is a symbol of the virgin bride walking down the isle. I could see Gavin was a little unsure about this, and took to asking his Dad, who without hesitation, replied, Son it is simple, all domestic appliances come in white.

Some cards to read

To Gavin
Good luck on your wedding day, I will miss you at those pool parties
Love Michael Barrymore

To Gavin
Have a great day and thank you for all those tenners
From the girls at Angels in Great Yarmouth

To Charlie,
It was nice whilst it lasted, but I guess we will have to call it a day now you are married.
Love Brad Pitt

Time for some toasts – first, some very important people, with out them, the day would not be the same. Many of us know then pretty well already, we will spend more time talking to them during the evening, so please join me in a very special toast –

To the Happy Bar Staff!

Now in case you are wondering why I asked Gavin to place his hand on Charlie, I will reveal – Gavin, as my final role, it is with great pleasure that I have been able to give you the one and only time in your marriage in which you will have the upper hand on Charlie.

Congratulations, if you only remember one thing from this speech – remember to love each other to the fullest everyday.

If you will all be upstanding in my toast

To the new Mr and Mrs Fisk

Gavin and Charlie

We all wish the happy couple well and have a great time!