Speech by Ken Kopasky

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ken Kopasky
Speech Date: nov 2004
Intro
When guys hear they have to give a best-man speech they usually get real
nervous; I was like “I get to get up and make fun of Keith”? Well, Keith
quickly reminded me that he is bigger than I am.

Greeting
Hello, on behalf of Keith & Yolanda, I'd like to thank you all for coming.
I know a lot of you have traveled quite a ways to get here, and I'd like you
to know that it is greatly appreciated. I know my parents appreciate
everyone for being here to witness this joyous occasion, as they've waited
for 40 years for it to take place. Our thoughts are also with those family
and friends who could not make the journey today.

I'd also like to thank Keith & Yolanda for putting on such a wonderful
celebration. I know that Yolanda put in a lot of time and effort into all
the planning, and I'm sure we'd all agree that it has come together
wonderfully, right down to the smallest detail. In fact, I hear People
Magazine has exclusive rights to publish the pictures in next week's issue.
Seriously though, this is certainly a first class affair, and Yo, you've
done a first class job of bringing it all together. And Keith, you've done a
first class job of staying out of Yo's way!

I'd also like to take a moment to thank the bridesmaids and the Maid of
Honor; who look so beautiful today. And Yolanda, I'm sure everyone who
knows you, knew you'd make a beautiful bride, but to say that you look
absolutely breathtaking today would be an understatement. I'm sure I'm not
the only single guy here that wishes you had a sister.

Keith Stories
For those of you who don't know me, I'm Keith's brother Ken and I can
honestly say that Keith has done an admirable job of being a big brother. I
had to fire my first big brother at an early age, but Keith took over the
position quite well.

I was adopted by the Kopasky's at age 5, and I can still remember the day I
came to live with them. Keith had me sitting on the bed in my new room,
which was combined with his, and he had his two best friends over, Jay Wood
& Joey Derouche. And Keith was like “Hey guy's check it out, my new
brother”. Man, if that social worker could have seen the mischief in those
guys eyes I'm sure she would've whisked me right back to the foster home.
It was like a science project, with them making plans of all the cool things
they could do to me.

I have to say though that I'm very grateful for the way Keith took me under
his wing right off the bat. And Keith took his job as big brother very
seriously, always trying to teach me lessons. Some of those lessons were
how to catch and throw a ball, how to run through cornstalks without
falling, and how to endure pain so I could be tough, I still haven't learned
that one yet. But the lesson that best pertains to today is one of the
first lessons Keith started teaching me, and has been the longest running
lesson. It is the never-ending lesson on girls.

I'd like to take a moment to share with you Keith's first chapter on this
subject, and how that chapter came to an abrupt halt. Right from the
beginning Keith taught me that girls had girl germs. He emphasized this
fact more than any other, even going so far as to refuse to drink from his
glass of milk, or eat with the same silverware if our sister Kim had drunk
from his glass, or used his silverware, which she seemed to delight in doing
as often as possible. Oh yeah, I could tell that this was way more
important than throwing or catching a ball, running through cornstalks
without falling, even more important than being tough, bottom-line was stay
clear of girls.

Now when it came to Keith's lessons I was an apt student, so after a few
years, I had certainly learned the most important one. One night I see
everyone hustling about and Keith getting all dressed up in a tux. When I
inquire as to what's going on, I think nothing of it when I'm told that
Keith is going to a prom. Well, imagine my shock when a girl arrives at the
door all dressed up in a gown, and proceeds to hold Keith's arm while my mom
starts taking pictures. It doesn't take me long to realize that this girl
means to take Keith in the big car parked on the street to this “prom”, and
infected him with her girl germs. Seeing that Keith has been put under some
sort of spell, I figure it's my job to save him, so I grab his arm, trying
to pull him away from the evil girl, all the while shouting “Keith she has
girl germs, get away from her she has girl germs”. Yeah, Keith's prom date
didn't like me too much. So that ended the first chapter in Keith's lessons
on girls. There have been many others since then, and I'm guessing that
there will be many more. Keith's promised me he'd write a book one-day on
the subject. I guess he knows that I haven't been taking his “girl” lessons
too seriously since the first chapter.

Summary
Well, it looks like Keith finally got infected with a bad case of “girl
germs”, and I must say it suits him well. Now I know that Yolanda loves
Keith very much, you see, Keith & I lived together when they first met so
Yolanda had to put up with me in addition to getting to know Keith. I told
him after they'd been seeing each other for about a year, “Man, she must
really love you to put up with both of us”.

Knowing Keith as well as I do, I can't imagine anyone more perfect for him
as a life partner than Yolanda. Keith has been the best brother I could've
ever asked for, and true to his form, I now have the best sister-in-law I
could've ever asked for. Keith, Yolanda, I'm sure I share the sentiment of
everyone here in saying that I wish the very best for both of you in your
marriage. May God bless your marriage, and may your Agape love for each
other be an inspiration to others.

Now every marriage will have its ups and downs, and there will be some
arguments. So Keith, I want to leave you with two little words that will
guarantee that you will always have the last word: “Yes Dear”

by Ken Kopasky