Speech by Ken Leighfield

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Ken Leighfield
Speech Date: sep 2003
Ladies and Gentlemen, boys and girls – thank you very much for your fantastic welcome.

Are you all having a good time? Great. I hope that you are enjoying yourselves as much as I was until about 30 seconds ago.

To introduce myself to those that don't know me my name's Kenny and I am of course the best man.

Before I get going I have been asked that, in the interest of health and safety , none of you get up on your chairs and tables during my standing ovation.

Firstly, I'd like to thank Gary on behalf of the lovely Bridesmaids, the handsome Ushers and of course myself for his kind words. I know you'll agree how lovely Nush, Rachel, Becki and Laura along with Liz are looking today and what a fantastic job they have done today in helping Liz's day go perfectly. And the Ushers it pains me to say are also looking rather handsome but have done an equally great job today and made my job pretty easy…………….until now!

So if I can ask you all to please stand for my first toast which is for the Bridesmaids and the Ushers. The Bridesmaids and the Ushers.

Traditionally this is my part of the day where I get the opportunity to tear into Gary's past and let you all know that he isn't the sweet, perfect boy that many of you believe he is. Thankfully, this is where I have been blessed as not many people provide as much ammunition as Gary has. Unfortunately, I will only be able to share the more suitable stories and experiences with you this afternoon.

Born back on 17th April 1971 to Mary and Ken. Number 1 in the UK charts was Hot Love by T-Rex which is quite appropriate for Gary. Not because of his love making skills but the fact he's a bit ancient like a T-Rex. I searched the internet to see which great icons from the past Gary shares his birthday with. Typically for Gary all I could find was such illustrious characters as Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd born in 1937. Also, amazingly the game of Snooker was born on this day back in 1875. Many of you may be aware of the legendary games Gary and Ken share most Saturday afternoons. This is no friendly father and son bonding session. The rivalry between them is so intense and many a game has ended with a cue thrown across the baize and the shout of “you lucky baaaastard” is well known across a number of snooker halls.

I first met Gary many years ago through our strong love of alcohol, football and partying. Many of those nights out are lost in the memory due to the amount of alcohol drank or because they should stay as just a memory. I doubt if many men can say they've seen their best friend jump repeatedly on a trampoline with absolutely nothing on – but we won't go there!

When I think of those nights out I can't believe Gary actually made it here today on time today as I've never known him be on time in his life, which I know Simon will agree with. In the pub is where Gary came alive. He has to be the constant centre of attention and he bloody well knows everyone. You couldn't shut the guy up. He had this knack of talking so much that he never got close to finishing a drink by the time you'd finish yours. So off you'd trot to the bar again and he'd appear just as you was about to get your change and demand another. Amazing.

The story was no different in the club. While people around him are falling over pissed and unable to talk he always kept enough in reserve to carry on the chatting up and show his silky moves on the dancefloor. Now Gary would dance to anything – R&B, hip-hop, 70’s Disco, Abba. I'd be next to him giving it everything and sweating like a pig but he just carried on looking fresh – ready to flirt at any time. And Gary was a terrible flirt. When I say terrible I mean he was crap at it!!

The music thing also reminds me of our footie days. We'd all meet up an hour before kick off down the Crosslink Club and sort the cars out for the big away trip. The cars would be crammed and ready to all leave at the same time. You could the music blaring from each car getting people pumped up for the big game ahead – Loud Rap, various banging tunes and then Clarkey would turn up his Lionel Richie tape. After listening to Hello & Endless Love and Easy for 15 minutes you can imagine the mood me and Gary arrived in and our performance on the pitch certainly matched that.

Moving on – as I could reminisce for ever. The big day when Gary and Liz met. 14th April 2001. Again because of his love of music I will remind him that number 1 that day was Pure & Simple by Hearsay. Again, very appropriate as I know Liz is Pure and Gary is …………well Gary.

Also believe it or not this is the anniversary of the night the Titanic hit that fateful ice berg back in 1912. But I know this relationship is stearing well clear of any such disasters and frosty climates. I can't say their first encounter was as romantic and that of Leonardo and Kate Winslet. Gary was pissed sat on the curb outside the curry house and offered Liz a chip as she walked past. It wasn't until 2 weeks later that they met again in Mission where Gary tried to give Liz another portion.

I will also say how great it has been to see Gary and Liz together. They always have looked a terrific couple and none more so than right at this moment. There's only so much you can change Gary – or would want to – but Gary will say himself how much he has changed and how madly in love with Liz he is. He is the first to admit that Liz is the boss of the house and he is certainly happy to be wearing the skirt in the house. I know that this is the start of a terrific future for them and I hope to be seeing a group of little Clarkey's running around shortly – god what a thought!!

I can't go without saying a few words about the stag do and for the sake of a number of people here today it will only be a few words. Only joking we were all very behaved! A great turnout in Bournemouth and superb time was had by all. Just looking forward to the anniversary bash next year now. But thanks again from me and Gary to all of you here today who were able to come and make it a great weekend.

From a personal point of view I would just like to say how great it has been to know Gary over the last number of years. I'm sure all will agree he certainly has an infectious personality and we have enjoyed countless laughs, days, nights and experiences together and my own memories have certainly been enriched by them.

CARDS.
One jokey one. To Gary & Liz, all the very best for the future. You look a great team. Unlike the shite one I just left. From David Beckham. (He's a Man Utd fan)

Finally – at last I here you say. On behalf of the bride and groom, I'd like to thank you all very much for sharing their special day and though it has been said before, it now gives me great pleasure to invite you all to stand up once more and raise your glasses in a toast for Liz and Gary….Mr and Mrs Clarke no less. Live each day as if it were your last and each night as if it was your first. We wish you well for the future and hope you enjoy a long, happy and fruitful marriage. To Mr and Mrs Clarke.