Speech by Kerry Copley

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Kerry Copley
Speech Date: aug2002
Good afternoon everyone and welcome to G***and C** wedding celebration. My name is Stuart and if you haven't guessed I'm the best man. I'm sure you'll agree that this has been a great wedding celebration, but every silver lining has its cloud- AND I'M IT!

As you know it's customary at this point to slaughter the groom for your listening pleasure. But to reflect the equal status of women in the modern world I thought I'd break with tradition and talk instead about the bride.

But as all the stories I have about C** are classified 18+, and there are small children present I'll be unable to share them with you.

But I would however like to say how radiant C*** looks today and her dress is absolutely stunning. I know G*** was very emotional as she walked down the isle and I know that she will make him very happy for the rest of their lives together.

I'd also like to repeat what has already been said about how gorgeous the bridesmaid and flower girls look. But I'd also like to go a step further and say how lovely both I*** and C*** look as well.

I was surprised and honoured when G*** asked me to be his bestman as I did hear the selection process was very hard, and as didn't get an interview I thought I was out of the running. But I do hope that his choice hasn't caused them too many nightmares.

I had a lot of time to research this speech and to dig up some interesting stories about G***, I have to say I failed miserably, unless you like drunken nudity and sheer stupidity. Even on his stag do he was in bed by 9.00 after consuming his ration of 3 drinks. One story that involves both drunken nudity and sheer stupidity does spring to mind, but C*** has warned me that if I mention it in my speech my chances of having children will be significantly reduced! Fortunately for those of you who are interested I will be talking freely at the bar later.

Many of you will not know that I have chosen G*** to be my bestman in several weeks time. Before today G*** had warned me that revenge is sweet and to be careful because he will repay to me tenfold what I do to him, so here's £20 quid and I'll expect £200 on my wedding day!

I would just like to offer G*** a useful piece of advice. A Husbands last word should always be OK BUY IT, and to C*** something to consider-

What's the difference between a new husband and a dog? A new dog only takes a couple of months to train- but we all know you have got G*** well trained already!

I've known G*** a long time and I must say this is the happiest I have ever seen him. C*** has found in G*** a man of kindness, generosity, integrity and honesty. I'm sure that everybody here agrees they make a wonderful couple and I'd like to take this opportunity to propose a toast. So if everybody could please be upstanding

To G*** and C***, the newlyweds!