Speech by Kevin Chaffey

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Kevin Chaffey
Speech Date: 11/08/2015 00:54:45

Best man speechGood afternoon ladies and gentlemen, I hope everyone is enjoying this very special day so far as we celebrate the marriage of my mate Darren and his beautiful bride Kelly, It's been such an emotional day, ……..even the cake is in tiers.Can you all hear me ok…..now people have always asked what the story is with the table plans. I can now reveal that the further you are seated from the top table, the less you spent on a wedding present. So the couple who bought the potted plant are sitting in the car park.Now before I begin, Kelly, would u place your right hand on the table, Darren would u place your left hand on top of Kellys and all will be revealed in good time.This is only going to be a short speech because of my throat.. If I go on too long Kelly has threatened to cut it!So with that in mind I sought advice on how long my speech should last and was told it should last no longer than it takes the groom to make love to his new bride, so 2 minutes it is then.Now my journey to be best man has not exactly been easy. To be fair to Darren, he didn't have an easy task in picking his best man, as the competition was fierce.First, he called his most handsome friend. And they said no.Next was his most intelligent friend. Again, the answer was no.Getting slightly disheartened, Darren then asked his most trusted friend. But for the third time it was no.Then he called me, to which I said Darren, it would be cruel if I said no for a fourth time, so, naturally I had many questions myself like, what had I done to deserve such an honour, who had dropped out at the last minute, was I really the best he could come up with and could I turn the job down and still expect an invitation to stuff myself with a good meal and get drunk at his expense!! Darren you was there to witness my wedding 23 years ago to my beautiful wife Vicki and I am honoured to be asked to attend yours as your best man. Now I've learned that marriage is about the giving of 3 rings, first is the engagement ring then there's the wedding ring and then comes the suffering!! But marriage, asks that couples take each other for better or for worse. Darren, in marrying Kelly you really couldn't have done any better, And Kelly, in marrying Darren it could be worse, you deserve a man who is your equal. A man who is always there for you and cares for you like no other can. A man who will love you, protect you and encourage you. A true soul mate without whom life would not be the same. So luckily for Darren, HE has married you before you had the chance to meet this perfect man. Having said that, I do have to say how lucky you are Darren, You will leave here having gained a wife that is warm, loving and caring. A wife that is funny, and who radiates beauty where ever she goes. And Kelly…………… how lucky you are as well…………. you leave today having gained a……….. Gorgeous dress and a lovely bouquet of flowers.

Graham and Carol, you must be extremely proud to see your daughter Kelly looking so beautiful on her special day……..… however , I must apologise to Jean, as this is the best I could do with Darren, after all I'm a best man not a miracle worker.So where do I start with Darren, we've been mates for 25 years now and people would expect me to take this opportunity in dragging up some embarrassing story's from the past, but the truth is i have stood side by side with Darren, be it on the football pitch, come rain or shine in celebration or defeat , or showing off our best dance moves in an attempt to clear the dance floor, a0nd can honestly say that he is the most genuine, caring, loyal, handsome, witty, (pretend you can't read the grooms hand writing) charming, intelligent…..mate I could hope to have !! I did want to begin by telling you a little about Darren's years growing up and, given that pictures usually paint a thousand words, I wanted to find a photo to represent this period to show you all… so I asked around and In my quest I was sent a cute photo of Darren lying on a sheepskin rug, in his birthday suit, dribbling, his cheeky grin covered in the chocolate from a biscuit held in his hand; but given this photo was taken only last week I thought it might cause a little too much embarrassment….but there was a time when we ordered pizzas and the waiter asked Darren if he would like his pizza cut into four pieces or eight pieces, to which Darren replied ” Can you cut it into four pieces please mate, I don't think I could eat eight”.I hope Darren and Kelly enjoy there honeymoon in Wales….i assume that's where they're going anyway, because when I asked Darren what he was doing after the wedding he said he was going to Bangor for a fortnight !!Now I'm not sure I'm the best person to dish out advice! But I do have the following words of wisdom for the happy couple.Firstly, set the ground rules and establish who is the boss: Then do everything Kelly says.

Secondly..Always remember to tell your wife those three important little words [pause] ‘You're right Kelly.

And thirdly….a happy marriage is a matter of give and take the husband gives and the wife takes. Now in case any of you are wondering why I asked Darren to place his hand on Kelly's. I will tell you now, Darren as my final role, it is with great pleasure that I have been able to give you the last 10 minutes in which you have had the upper hand on Kelly. And it will almost certainly be the last.But all joking aside Darren I want to say what a privilege it is today to be your best man and to be here on this wonderful day. You have found someone very special.From me personally I would just like to read this simple poem……Love is a language spoken by everyone but understood only by the heart. It is a song that never ends. Its not about finding a person you can live with, it's about finding the person you can't live without.

and it now gives me immense pleasure to invite everyone here to stand and raise your glasses in a toast for Darren and Kelly. We wish them well for the future. To love, life, laughter and happily ever after..as they start there married life as Mr and Mrs Whitcombe !!I did receive a message today which simply said………To Kelly I'm Sorry I couldn't marry u myself , so I got one of my mates to do it instead, best wishes on your special Day From the Pope .