Speech by Lee Barrett

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Lee Barrett
Speech Date: jan 2003
GOOD AFTERNOON LADIES & GENTLEMEN………

BURLEIGH COURT HAVE ASKED ME TO REQUEST THAT FOR HEALTH &SAFETY REASONS NOBODY GETS ON THE TABLES DURING THE STANDING OVATION AT THE END OF MY SPEECH……………..…

FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DON'T KNOW ME MY NAME IS LEE & ITS MY PLEASURE TO BE HERE TODAY AS JASON'S BEST MAN………….…

ALTHOUGH BEING BEST MAN IS PROBABLY THE MOST TERRIFING ORDEAL YOU CAN INFLICT ON ANYONE..I WAS VERY HOROURED TO BE ASKED……

THE EVENING HE ASKED ME ,HE SLURRED IN MY EAR HOLE”MATE I'M GETTING MARRIED WILL YOU BE MY BEST MAN…BUT DON'T TELL ANYONE YET BECAUSE I'M NOT SUPPOSE TO TELL YOU !!”

I CAN ALSO ASURE YOU THAT THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME TODAY I HAVE STOOD UP FROM A WARM SEAT WITH A PIECE OF PAPER IN MY HAND!!!

I THINK EVERYONE ONE HERE ARGEES THAT FRAN LOOKS STUNNING,THE TWO BRIDESMAIDS FANTASTIC AND EVEN JASON'S STRUBBED UP QUITE WELL………

I LIKE TO TAKE THIS CHANCE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR COMING,ESPEICIALLY THOSE WHO HAVE TRAVELLED LONG DISTANCES……ON BEHALF OF MY SELF I KIND OF WISHED YOU'D STAYED AT HOME AND MADE MY JOB EASIER…..SERIOUSLY THOUGH ITS REALLY GREAT TO SEE YOU ALL TODAY……..…

TRADITIONALLY,THIS IS THE TIME WHEN I GIVE ADVICE ON WEDDED LIFE..WHICH IS ODD BECAUSE I'M YET TO GET MARRIED…SO I'VE ASKED AROUND AND COME UP WITH SOME WORDS OF ADVICE…………
THE BEST WAY TO REMMEBER THE ANNIVERSARY IS TO FORGET THE FIRST ONE!!!!!!!!!!!
DON'T FORGET THEM THREE LITTLE WORDS”YOUR RIGHT DEAR
IT HAS BEEN PROVEN BY SCENTISTS IN AMERICA THAT WEDDING CAKE CAN REDUCE A WOMENS SEX DRIVE BY 80%

I ALSO DONE MORE RESEACH AND FOUND THAT ON THESE DAY 44 YEARS AGO THEY WAS A SONG CALLED GREAT BALLS OF FIRE AT NUMBER 1………………….…

ALSO 33 YEARS AGO THE FAMOUS FOR WHATEVER REASONS INSTAMATIC CAMERA WAS INVENTED……..…

THESE MORNING I TOLK JASON FOR A SPIT & POLISH SORRY HAIRCUT…..WHEN HE TOLD ME HE'D SLEPT LIKE A BABY LAST NIGHT….THE TRUTH IS THAT HE WOKE UP EVERY 30 MINUTES CRYIN FOR HIS MUMMY……………

I HAVE BEEN WARNED TO KEEP IT CLEAN, BUT I'M SURE IF ANYONE CATCHS ME AT THE BAR LATER…A PINT OF JOHN SMITHS TENDS TO MAKE MY TONGUE VERY LOOSE!!!!!!!!!

BEFORE I READ OUT THE CARDS I WOULD LIKE TO ASK JASON & FRAN TO PARTICIPATE IN THIS SPEECH.…
FRAN IF I CAN ASK YOU TO PLACE YOUR HAND FLAT ON THE TABLE………
NOW JASON PLACE YOUR HAND ON TOP OF FRAN'S.…
JASON TAKE A DEEP BREATH AND ENJOY THIS MOMENT BECAUSE IT WIL BE THE LAST TIME YOU HAVE THE UPPER HAND…………..…

I WOULD NOW LIKE TO READ A FEW CARDS

PERSONALLY I WOULD LIKE TO THANK ALL INVOLVED IN ORGANIZING TODAY…….I UNDERSTAND JASON WANTED HIS MUM TO COOK HIS MEAL TODAY ..…
I'M SURE THE REST OF THE DAY WILL BE A GREAT SUCCESS AND YOUR ALL FED UP OF LISTERNING TO ME AND WANT SOME FOOD.

FINALLY IT GIVES ME GREAT PLEASURE NOT TO MENTION RELIEF TO INVITE YOU ALL TO STAND AND RAISE YOUR GLASSES TO THE BRIDE AND GROOM…………..…