Speech by Lee Edgington

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Lee Edgington
Speech Date: Sep 1999
This is quite unusual for me. Here I am with a room full of people waiting to listen to my every word. And for once I can't think of any thing to say.

My little brother has got married.

I can remember when we were kids looking forward to (No School) when the only things that we wanted was Food, a lie in on a Saturday Morning and Tom and Jerry on our Bedroom Telly

Now ten years later Nick has married a chef who can lie in every morning. And thanks to Sky Television—— He has The Cartoon Channel.

I have discovered today that I have been given the honour of being my Brothers Best Man at the last minute because
(A) He knew that if he asked me before I would panic for months about what to say. Which I thought was considerate of him.
(B) He was afraid that for the Stag night ,I would come up with some fiendish plan involving Debagging, Handcuffs and a one way overnight train ticket to Bilbao Which I thought was cowardly of him. and finally.
(C) He said the person that he really wanted let him down. Which I thought was honest of him.

So what is being a best man all about?

I haven't a bloody clue. I have never been to a wedding before.

Some one said Lee "Being asked to be Best man is like being asked to snog with the Queen Mother. It is a great Honour, But no-one wants to do it.

Before I read out the cards, I have to read a couple of telegrams tha arrived this morning.

"Congratulations Nick. We could have been good together. With love from Liz Hurley."

"Congratulations Nicky. I will return your saucepans by Federal Express. Hugh Grant

"Congratulations Nick and Nicky. Sorry I am unable to be with you today. Simon Thornton." (re channel 5 Family Affairs)

"I will leave the key to the palace under the backdoor mat. The Queen Mum" Oh Sorry That one is addressed to me.

Read out the cards.

I can tell that every one is having a great day here today. And this is mainly due to the weeks and months of planning by the two Nicks. Simon And Maggie, Nicky's Grandparents Jean and Don and all here at Bellingham's.

A very emotional event, even the cake is in tiers!

(Toast)

On behalf of the bride and groom—- I would like to thank everyone here for sharing their special day, —– Particularly those of you who have stayed sober for the occasion!

I would now like to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Nick and Nicky——- Mr and Mrs Exxxxxxxx no less.

We wish them well in the future——-and hope they enjoy a long and happy marriage.

(Second toast)

Could you please now stand and join me in a toast to the bride and grooms parents.——- and those who were sadly unable to be here today.

I would now like to hand you over to the grooms father, My Dad here's Simon to say a few words.

(Now relax and get pissed)