Speech by Lee Parry

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Lee Parry
Speech Date: oct 2002
THE BEST MAN SPEECH FOR THE WEDDING OF GAFFER AND JANE!

Florida 2nd May 2002. Speech given in The Marriott Hotel Swansea, 17th May 2002.

If I could just interrupt your drinking time for a moment! Good evening everyone! Welcome to the Marriott tonight for Paul and Jane's Wedding celebration!

For those of you who don't know me, I'm Lee, Paul & Jane's Best Man. Those of you who do know me will now that I'm not proud but I am tight and will happily accept a drink from anyone who offers! I'd just like to say a few words and toast the happy couple before the evening gets underway.

I was a bit nervous about getting up here to speak to you all, so I prepared a few lines.… Having snorted them all, I'm feeling fine now!

By swanning off to Florida, they may have robbed you lot of a free meal but I'm sure the Buffet was a good substitute. I'm sure you'll all be disappointed to know that the lovely Paula (Groom's Mum) didn't have her hand in it! Although from what I've just seen she's had both hands in it and a lot of it is in her handbag! But they aren't going to rob me of an opportunity to do my speech.

Well there aren't many Best Men who get to get to go to the wedding and go on the Honeymoon with the happy couple! So it's very unique that I can do this speech after the Honeymoon and tell the tale! Especially after having spent the wedding night in the room next to them! So I'd like to share with you a story from the holiday..…

Picture the scene, the morning after the wedding, we're all in the hotel restaurant for Breakfast, all sitting around the table, eventually the love birds decide to make a late appearance. Nervous smiles all around. Waiter comes around to take Paul's order. Well, I couldn't believe it, Paul ordered a full English Breakfast, extra bacon, toast, juice – the works. I though Wow! What a night – he must have really worked up an appetite! I think he thought he'd take control for a minute and ordered Jane's breakfast for her! I was surprised – he just ordered some lettuce and a carrot? Naturally I pulled him aside away from Diane's (Bride's Mum's) ears, said – what's with Jane's breakfast? Well – he said, I wanna see if she eats like a Rabbit too!

There are 3 words that go through a Bride's head as she is ready to get married – Aisle, Altar. Hymn. And that she did – although it was before the wedding. When Paul met Jane he had never touched a drop of Alcohol and never been banned from an Indian Restaurant. Now look at him! I know Jane was very worried about being accepted into the Davies family after corrupting Paula's boy Paul! But I know Jane feels a true part of the family now as she's been welcomed by her new favourite Auntie – where's Jane's favourite Aunty Gwen? Taxi for me later Gwen please. (Gwen is a cab controller for a taxi firm)!

For all of us here who know Jane and Paul well will agree that they are a perfect match and are one of the friendliest, nicest couples you could hope to meet. Like Cagney goes with Lacey and Richard goes with Judy, Paul goes with Jane. Paul – I'm sure you don't need reminding of how lucky you are – I'd just like to say that in Jane you've found someone attractive, great fun to be with and in all honesty a bit of a catch, as I'm sure you'll agree! Jane, in Paul, you've found someone who is.… Really good with computers!

In all seriousness I'm sure Paul and Jane are so honoured that so many of their friends have turned up to celebrate their wedding with them. And I'm sure you'll all join with me and raise your glasses in a toast to the happy couple. Wishing you both all the happiness in the world – To Paul and Jane.