Speech by Leigh M

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Leigh M
Speech Date: 19/03/2016 09:08:33

Ladies and gentleman, I've just been given the nod by Andy so allow me to introduce myself for those of you who are not familiar with me…..I'm Leigh and I've been unfortunate enough to have known Andy for 20 plus years.

We went to the same school and believe it or not Andy is actually younger than me. The years have been moderately kind to one of us…..I'll let you figure out which one….

So what can I say about Andy? He's kind, Witty, charm……..mate I can't read your writing. You can tell me the rest later.

I've been asked by Andy to make a short speech today as a few of us will be talking so I just wanted to share a couple of hopefully amusing stories with you all…..

I'm sure everyone here when they were little wanted to wear silly little things to the shops or to school as a matter of life and death. But, the majority of us as we pass 5 or 6 begin to pass that phase and attempt to dress normally……

So Andy-rew, what was it that you insisted on wearing all the way through primary school?

So yes, Andy had to wear this little blue dickie bow to primary school. But this wasn't just a phase, Andy wore this little dickie bow to school every day…….the entire time!

Moving on to our teens when just as you start to get seriously interested in girls and alcohol and begun to venture out and about, Andy was always just a little bit behind. I can recall ringing him up, on the house phone back then, and trying to get him to come out with everyone. I'd always initially get a firm ‘no’ because he was busy doing nothing in his dressing gown or reading some ridiculously titled literature, in his dressing gown, when in the background you'd hear Andy's mum Zilla saying “just go out Andy, go have some fun” Andy would stroppily reply “no!”

Zilla and Brian used to even try to tempt him out by giving him money to go and do things…….Andy would stroppily reply “no”……still in his dressing gown.

Not only were we in the same school but we were both in a youth organisation called the Sea Cadets. Now in cadets you could take part in a great number of activities and Andy always had a great aptitude for something called expedition training and both Andy and I were picked to be in the team to represent Coventry in competitions.

One event being held at Cannock chase meant that as a team we had to completely sustain ourselves over a full weekend, including supplying our own food. So everybody would bring such things as pot noodles and high calorie snack bars. But no, Not Andy. What did you bring Andy?

Andy brought a spaghetti bolognaise. But not just say a one pot tinned type spaghetti bolognaise as we were out in the wilderness, oh no. Andy brought a full on spaghetti bolognaise with individually bagged spices, the whole works all to cook on a tiny solid fuel cooker in a mess tin. So as we all quickly got on with our little bits to eat and were good to go for the next task rather quickly, Andy spent 2 hours slowly composing his spaghetti bolognaise.

So he sits down to eat his carefully put together 2 hour dinner, takes one bite and……..throws it across the field screaming “this is rubbish! This is rubbish!” Kicks the little cooker over and retires to his tent. Much to our absolute delight!

I'm sure you could say he was an early adopter of glamping but i do feel the camp in camping suits Andy much better.

To top things off, the following morning Andy told us all he'd had a dream that he had been wrestling a snake that kept spitting on him……..I'll just leave that one with you.

And now he's all grown up, loving life with a beautiful new wife. But how do we think Andy's parents first found out about the love of his life?

Was it A. He told them over the phone B. He told them over dinner Or C. His 4 year old niece Betsy whispered to his mum “guess what Andrew has a girlfriend?” because he hadn't quite mustered the courage yet?

Anyway, joking aside, I have known Andy for a very long time and in that time we've never fell out or disagreed on anything, he's a good guy, loyal, far too dam intelligent and genuinely deserves all the happiness that I know Maria will bring him.

Maria, you deserve to be married to a guy who is your equal, a man who will protect you, provide for you and be there for you no matter what. Luckily for Andy he has managed to marry you before you met that perfect guy.

You do look absolutely stunning. I came with you both to assist in picking your dress for today and even slung on a couple of garters myself, and even though today you look angelic and elegant as ever, it wouldn't have mattered which one you would have picked. You would have looked as beautiful regardless. We've managed to spend some good time together since you both met and I have to say I do think you are far too good for Andy.

I'd like to wish you both the very best for the future and I know I speak for us all when I say I can't wait to meet baby Lomas and so, if you will all be upstanding……..to Andrew and Maria