Speech by Leigh Morgan

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Leigh Morgan
Speech Date: Oct2007
Beginning

Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending this wonderful occasion of Gareth and Susan's wedding, I am glad to say that I have been able to say a sentence without my partner KAREN finishing it for me.

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Leigh, I'm Gareth's best mate and I would like to say a few words as his best man, I will try to keep this short – Time is Beer

I am privileged to be Gareth's best man, and I would like to thank Susan and Gareth for letting me, be a part of their special day – Obviously, they knew I was best man for the job.

Before I go any further can I ask Sue to put her right hand on the table, and Gareth can I ask you to put your left hand on top of Susan right hand, and keep them there till I let you know in a while and why.

Thank you – bridesmaids and family

My first job, is to reply to Gareth's words, we all agree, the bridesmaid's do look beautiful, only to be outshone by the bride, On their behalf, I would like to thank him for their gifts, also, without you today, couldn't have gone any better, so my thanks to Lisa, Sarah, Beth and Megan.

A Thank you to Ian and Jed for being the Ushers, who have had an easy day, standing around pouting and most of the time checking to see if their hair and outfits are looking good – well done lads…

A thank you must go to Susan mum and dad – Alan and Margaret, Gareth's parents Bryn and Brenda it's amazing what a few people will do for a free booze-up.

And finally to the happy couple Susan and Gareth – Thank you from us all for allowing is to share this special day with you.

Susan and Gareth

Susan as always you look radiant, as for Gareth I didn't know he could scrub up so well.

Gareth, you are lucky man today in marrying Susan, because she is smart, beautiful, loving and caring, and she really deserves a good husband – it's just as well you did marry her, before she found one.

Susan – you're also lucky as well, you leave today having gained a gorgeous wedding dress and a nice bouquet of flowers.

Party Time on Gareth

I have known Gareth for about 10 years now, wow, its weird saying his full name, as I have only just found out today what is full name was.

When I first met Gareth, he must of thought I was just a poor little dingle aka Burnley fan – all tattered and torn, what Gareth doesn't realises it's about 10 years ago that somebody wouldn't go home after a night out, and tried to sleep in a shed, to this day, Gareth reminds of Joseph who must have been a dingle – if there's no room at the inn, the shed will do.
When we were younger, we all had dreams of becoming a footballer, doctor, nurse, policeman, etc. Not Gareth, because of his affection for his dogs, he wanted to own a grooming parlour, when his mum and dad were coming back off holiday, he wanted to give them a nice surprise, well – they definitely got one, he give his dog a nice grooming alright, but he went a bit too far with the electric shaver and shaved the dog completely from head to paw.

Gareth met Susan in the Cross Axes after Rovers had played in a friendly – He asked her if she had a BF, she replied “No”, he said “you have now”, he must of thought she was going to give him the red card, luckily for him it proved to be a winner, and he has had the best result ever.

In 2002, England had just played a qualifying game in the for the World cup, both of us had a sign “Pip your Horn for England”, Well Gareth, Susan has definitely pipped your horn, so make sure it honks every time she asks “can you just…will you do…”

Gareth, the three things a bride remembers: – is the Aisle, the Alter and the hymn, I heard Susan saying this to herself earlier on a few occasions, until it became clear to me, because you have had a busy day – I will spell it out for you – I'll alter hymn, I'll alter hymn, I'll alter hymn.

As best man, I am supposed sing to Gareth's praises and tell you all his good points. The problem is – one – I can't sing and two I couldn't find any good points – if any of do know, please let me know later.

Susan – Gareth told me that he wasn't going to drink any more, but he weren't going to drink any less either

Due to recent events in the last couple of weeks I have written a poem.

Happy hour poem

A few of us recently went to Spain,
We were glad to see the back of the rain
La Era Park was our lair
It was a long trek to the main square

So many bars to choose from
Before we knew it the time had gone.
A week was long enough
I think we all drank too much.

A few weeks ago we went to Blackpool
Hoping that Gareth would be the fool
Luckily for him, we couldn't leave him up the Tower,
But, now Gareth this time it's your happy hour.

Ok Gareth, I will let you know why I asked you to put your hand on top of Susan's, because this is the last time you will get the upper hand on Susan.

Honestly, on a serious note and before I finish, Gareth and I have had some excellent times together and he has been a great friend over the years, I couldn't ask for a better mate – so Gareth I would like to give you this little present from me, which I would like you to open now – DINGLE PICTURE – a picture with zak dingles head on top of the Burnley team –went down a treat

Happy Couple

As I haven't been married before, I can't really give you any marriage advice, so I rang a few friends up and they told me to say these few words: –
Gareth
Nancy Reagan said “A woman is like a tea bag – you don't know her strengths until she is in hot water.

Oscar Wilde said, “The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him.
Susan
Jilly Cooper once said, “The male is the domestic animal, if treated with firmness and kindness can be trained to do most things.

I was also told that a husband is like a tiled floor, lay it right and you can spend years walking all over it
Toast

Almost 30 years ago to the day – David Bowie had a number one hit called “Heroes”, for a day he wanted to be a king and his partner to be his Queen and both be the Heroes for a day.

Well Gareth and Susan today you can be the king and Queen and you can be our Heroes for the day

So ladies and gentleman please could stand and join me in raising your glasses and toast to the “bride and groom”.