Speech by Leon Weavers

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Leon Weavers
Speech Date: Jul2007
Good afternoon Ladies &amp Gentlemen, for what seems like the tenth time today I find myself rising from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand.

Can you all hear me ok at the back?

I'd like to welcome you on this glorious day and I've got to say I am must impressed to see so many of you here.. After the fiasco with the wedding invitations, I'm very surprised some of you stumped up the ٟ.05 at the post office to collect your invites!!

I struggled writing this so I consulted the Internet. After many hours looking at porn I thought I'd have to get some proper work done,

So for those of you that don't know me, I'm Simon's twin Leon and I will be your best man for the afternoon. As you can see, we're clearly not identical,

First things first, I just wanted to say, and I'm sure you'll all agree on how beautiful the bride is looking, Lou are you looking stunning. As are all of the bridesmaids, Helen, Kim, Bex and Em..

Despite me shaking, mumbling and stut, stut, stuttering, I've been really looking forward to this day and I just wanted to thank Simon for giving me the pleasure of getting up and making a complete fool of myself in front of so many people. So cheers Bro.

So on that note of people making fools of themselves I'd thought I'd let you in on a foolish moment that Simon's been through. I have only recently found this out but a few years ago when Simon was working in the Pocket Phone Shop he and some collegues went to a local bar and Simon got up on stage and sang Gary Glitter, do you wanna been in my gang!! On his own!!

So, what can I say about the groom. Pull a piece of paper out of my pocket He's handsome, funny, intelligent, and err, err, sorry Simon, I can't read your handwriting!! Oh, is says good in bed!!!

Being the best man and my brother's twin, I've had an advantage over most best men as I've know Sy all my life. Even though Sy is my twin he has always been more of an older brother to me. He's looked out for me, cared for me and been there when I have needed someone. So I thank you for bro.

So as you can imagine, growing up with Simon I have plenty of stories to tell. I've been asking around and trying get some proper dirt on him, but sadly it seems that there isn't any!! Now I don't know if this because he's paid everyone to be quite or not!!

Growing up all through our school life Simon was always the louder one, had the gangs and was the tuff guy on campus. Not a lot of you know that he had quite a reputation for fighting with people 2/3 years old than him.. 9 times out of 10 he came off better.. But its’ always nice having that kind of support through out school.

For those of you that also don't know, Sy has got to be the lasiest person when it comes to getting out of bed in the morning. When we were growing up I would constantly be shooting at him to get up and get ready for school!! He's a nightmare and I hear that nothing much has changed.. He times getting ready in the mornings down to the minute so that he can get maxim time in bed!! And this morning was no exception.. I was still shouting at him to get out of bed on his wedding day!!

Simon's also got to be the worst DIY'er that every graced this earth! But I think that he really can put up selves but just can't be bothered!! WE both built a wardrobe and I'm pleased to announce that it's still standing!!

He's also got this issue with being sick, and yes, I know I shouldn't really talk about it but it's funny.. If ever Sy feels sick then we can usually make him sick.. On demand if you like… So Sy, how are you feeling?? Do you wanna be sick!!! Huh, huh, do ya??

So about the Stag do!! For those of you that haven't heard we went to Ibiza for the stag do back in June and we dressed Simon up in a Man-kini. Now, for those of you that don't know what that is I've brought it along for you all to see Show them the thong But don't worry everyone, It's been washed.. And I've gotta say that Simon appeared to be very comfortable wearing it! Lou, does Simon wear this around the house on a Sunday afternoon!!

Sy's always been a keen footballer and was always selected to play for his school. And as you all know, Simon broke his leg doing the thing he loves, playing football. Know one would have expected that the cast would still be on some 7 months later and in that time Sy's got away with not having to get to the bar and buy the beers!! Nor has he had to worry about driving anywhere so it's aloud him to drink and always get a lift home!! So as soon as you're back on your feet and are about to drive I will look forward to you walking to the bar, bring the drinks over and then drive me home after a fair few beers.. And I'm sure a lot of other people here today will be saying the same thing!! CHEERS – Signaled but the touch of the ear

When Sy first met Lou some 6 &#189 years ago, I'll always remember that Sy was too shy to talk to her and would always refer to her as Hot Lou!! They were both working in the Chequers centre in Maidstone at the time and often he would talk about her and what tactics he could use to woo her. Well in the end he resulted to shooting about her “Get it” Which I'm sure you will agree, that's probably not the best approach. But somehow Lou took a liking to Sy and the rest is history. They then moved in together and have been living happily in their beautiful house in Wouldham, and thanks to Lou the house is always full of flowery articales and shinny dangly hang-y things.

Having first met Lou I think we've always got on, and as the years have passed our friendship has grown. Lou's a very loving, fun person who at times can be very very annoying, with her poking and flicking, which I'm sure you are all only to aware of. But she makes people smile and laugh with her funny questions and somewhat clumsy attitude. But Lou, we love you for that. I just wanted to be the first to welcome you into the Weavers family and it's s great pleasure to have a wonderful person taking the Weavers name.

It's rare that in this hectic world that people find love amongst the chaos and stresses of modem day life. But here before us is a perfect example of love and friendship, of which I am positive, will last forever. I just hope that I to will find somebody to love the way that these two love each other

Well I feel at this point that it's my duty to offer a small piece of advice to the groom, and I've been told that a successful marriage can be compared to football.

1 – Ensure you're fully committed every week
2 – Make sure you score every Saturday and Sunday
3 – Make sure you change ends at half time
4 – Don't put your tackle in too hard or you might injure yourself
5 – AND No tackling from behind…especially on your wedding night.

Now, if you could join me in a toast to some very important people without who today just wouldn't be the same. I'm sure all of us at some point will shuffle past them and exchange a few kind words……ladies and gentlemen, I'd like you to raise your glasses and say a toast….to the bar staff!

And for those of you who want to buy me a drink then I'll be at the bar all evening.

Just kidding, Please raise your glass and toast the Bride and Groom, Simon and Louise.