Speech by Liam

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Liam
Speech Date: 10/10/2013 21:56:00

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls.

Thank you all for coming here today for this very special occasion. For those who don't know me, I'm Liam A.K.A Harris the best man!

Thank you also to Paul & Maureen and Roy & Denise for such a wonderful day so far. But on a day like today looking at this lovely old building I can't help thinking about history and especially how history repeats itself I mean only 23 years ago Laura was going to bed with a dummy….

Now, I'm sure you will all agree that all the barmaid's look beautiful today…Sorry, the bridesmaids! The bridesmaids look beautiful today. They are outshone only by the bride herself Laura, may I say you look absolutely stunning.… And Robert you look….EHHHH well anyway

Let's move onto the main speech, now I must say I felt a lot of pressure over writing this, the pressure was multiplied this morning when Robert pulled me aside and said ‘Harris, if you do a really good speech today, I promise you can be the best man at my next wedding!’ So the pressure is on!

What can you say about a man who came from humble beginnings, a man who is now quickly rising to the very top of his profession based solely on intelligence, grit and the willpower to push on where others have fallen. A man who is beginning to distinguish himself at the very highest level amongst his peers, and where none can say a bad word against him?……………………………..… But enough about me, what I`m really here for this afternoon is to talk about Robert Dale

Robert Christopher Dale was born on Friday the 17th of February 1984 this was the same year Ronald Regan was elected as president of the USA, and the Thompson brothers had a no3 hit with ‘Doctor Doctor’. Well they do say that bad things happen in threes.

Robert progressed on through his school days as a quiet a gentle child, always kept himself to himself….However there was one day that sticks out amongst the rest!….… I label this day “THE BIG FIGHT LIVE”. That's right people this quiet gentle giant was involved in one of the biggest fights of cardinal newman school history. The build up lasted over several days and was like no other, the tension throughout the week grew to near epic proportions… Words on the playground were ‘Dales gonna get knocked out’ and ‘Dales a pussy he'll never win’!! His opponent was certainly the favorite being a bigger stocky lad who had a great track record in playground fighting. So the day of the fight came around and was held in the top tennis court  .. there must have been over 200 onlookers present waiting to see Robert get the inevitable smackdown of his life. ….The fight begins, straight away Robert takes several punches to the face and body… Robert covering up protecting himself, hanging on for dear life already.… It literally looked like the fight needed to be stopped within the first 20 seconds! THEN the turning of the tide, his opponent stumbled whilst trying to kick Robert, Robert like a mad dog swings wildly out of desperation and connects causing an imminent nose bleed .… Robert then takes the fight to floor delivering an unstoppable barrage of punches that cause an end to the fight with him being dragged off….… Everyone around silenced in shock of what they just witnessed… The quietist lad in the school proved so much that lunchtime with much respect earned as a true underdog coming out on top… LITERALLY!

Then there were the memories of the lads holidays…

One time that sticks in my mind, was the summer of 2005 when 3 of us flew out to Greece for a week of sun, sea and Sambuca, the destination we chose was a quiet fishing village called Falaraki, it was our first lads holiday abroad and it didn't fail to disappoint! Whilst over there I made a fascinating discovery…

Robert's dancing…

For those of you who haven't experienced it, just picture a drunk mime artist.

His signature move derives from the film Human Traffic and entails him supporting an imaginary ceiling whilst rotating in circles …… Im sure rob will gives us all a demo later (Wink).I can only imagine that when Rob and Laura first met in our local nightclub, that he must of been at the bar, because if it was on the dance floor, I probably wouldn't be reading this speech now!

Sooooooooo time for some messages I've been asked to read out from certain people that can't be here today:

To Robert….Congratulations on your wedding. We hope that just because you are now married you won't stop coming to see us on a regular basis. Love and best wishes from all the girls at Heat Strip Club

Dear Rob ……..Good luck on your wedding day, and I hope you spend many happy Years together …..But I will always wonder what might have happened between us had things worked out differently………….P.S….The Backdoors always open,,,,,,,,,And that's from Elton John

To Maureen and Paul ..… Im sorry for deliberately… accidently driving into your garden wall that drunken new years eve. Best regards     BRYAN WEST!

On a more serious and sincere note, It was a great privilege been asked to be your best man and I hope I haven't let you down. Robert is my best friend and has been there for me whenever I have needed him. I know how much Laura means to him and he will always be there for her. Robert idolizes Laura and he will make a great Husband and Im sure they will be extremely happy for many a year to come.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Bride and Groom I would like to conclude with a short but fitting poem by William Butler Yeates entitled :

“ HE WISHES FOR THE CLOTHS OF HEAVEN”

HAD I THE HEAVENS’ EMBROIDERED CLOTHS

ENWROUGHT WITH GOLDEN AND SILVER LIGHT

THE BLUE AND THE DIM AND THE DARK CLOTHS

OF NIGHT AND LIGHT AND THE HALF LIGHT

I WOULD SPREAD THE CLOTHS UNDER YOUR FEET

BUT I, BEING POOR, HAVE ONLY MY DREAMS

I HAVE SPREAD MY DREAMS UNDER YOUR FEET

TREAD SOFTLY BECAUSE YOU TREAD ON MY DREAMS

(Pause)

 LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE BE UPSTANDING

RAISE YOUR GLASSES

I GIVE YOU THE NEW MR AND MRS DALE

ROBERT AND LAURA!