Speech by Lyndon Bedford

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Lyndon Bedford
Speech Date: May 2001
Hello, how's everyone?
My Name's Lyndon and I'm Nick's Best Man for the day!

Thank You
Firstly, before I carry on, I'd like to thank the Bridesmaids for performing their duties so well ,and for looking so wonderful throughout the day. Nice one!!

Well here we go then, this is a first for me……I was on time and I'm looking quite smart, so at least I've done that bit right, shocking!

Intro
I've known Nick over 10 years, and it's a real honour to be his Best Man today. He's definitely kept all of us amused over the years, and so when he asked me to be his Best Man I had a few mixed feelings……..just how many of his embarrassing tales could I tell?????

Throw cards away – Better not say those then!!!!!!!

What can I say about Nick……..well, he's handsome, intelligent, witty, has a full head of hair and supports a great football team (Tottenham)……..mmmmmm, enough said, wrong wedding!!!

Younger
I never knew Nick when he was little, which was probably a blessing for him………indeed, I first met him when beating him at squash in the local sports centre. Needless to say, he's had his revenge in badminton, which he's played at county level!

Sport
He's still a keen sportsman, and has played in several of the finest football teams our great nation has to offer…..AC Valdamosa and Maldonldo Cruz to name but two!!

You may not have heard of them…..but in the world of small time, Sunday, indoor six-a-side footy, playing against old men and hackers, we were the team to beat………the Arsenal of the league!

Culture
I'd like to be able to say that Becky's marrying a man of culture, but what with his liking for heavy metal music (although he's not the only one, as Becky was a bit of a heavy metal rocker in her day I hear), supporting Tottenham, his craving for curries, and the fact that a night of drinking for him usually ends up with Nick being slumped over the loo feeling rather worse for wear……..just like on his stag do!!!!!!!!

Stag Do
What an event the stag weekend was! We were all ready to go to Bournemouth, the hotel was booked, some lovely young ladies in a lap dancing club beckoned, but no………it was not to be…..Nick wasn't happy with it, so we went out locally instead! Still, it was a great weekend, enjoyed by all, and most importantly Nick himself!

Curry/Beers – It was a curry and beers on the Friday night, with Nicks dad dozing off a bit, he said he was tired after his holiday…..mmmmmm!!. Still, Nick won a drinking contest with our mate Mark (point to Wilky!), and won some money in the process!

Go-Karting – On the Saturday we went go-karting, which I still have the bruises to show for going head to head into a corner with Nick. Little did I know he'd taken a crash course in causing multiple pile ups, usually involving everyone else but himself…….nice driving I say!!!!!!

Sat Night – The Saturday night…….what can I say? We all went out wearing possibly the most disgusting array of shirts money could buy!

We'd drawn names out, and had to buy a shirt for the lucky person we had picked, the worse the better!

Nick's was a rather stylish number………….had it been 1973……… a nice orange, red, black, yellow and green combo…….nice!

The look we got from the taxi driver when he turned up to take us was one of “aaaaaaaarrrrrrgggggghhhhh”, let alone those we got once we stepped out of the safety of the cab into the glaring sophistication of Guildford!!!!!!!

We then proceeded to drink loads, do some rather stupid things and have a good laugh, which was what it was all about!

Golf
After the exertions of Saturday night, we ended the weekend with a nice leisurely round of golf……….and having buggies made it even lazier!

Bristol Nicks been away from all his old friends in Fleet for a couple of years now, but his decision to move to Bristol has proven to be a very good one!

He's met the love of his life, bought a home, changed career, met lots of new people……..but he's not quite got that Bristolian accent just yet, but give it time and he'll have it down to a tee!!

Becky I remember when he first arrived in Bristol and started his new job, him mentioning a girl called Becky, and how he fancied her rotten!

It was a relief to hear……after all, he'd taken the birds and bees chat from his dad a bit too seriously and had been going steady with a woodpecker for a few years previously!

Gives a new meaning to having a woody!!

So anyway, Nick and Becky's romance blossomed, they shared a house together, got engaged in Zakynthos in may 1999, and have since bought a love pad of their own….bless!!!!

More
I could go on to mention some of Nick's finer qualities and moments, such as:-

The ability to lose the hair on his head but have the bushiest sideburns known to man!

The time when he was stopped by the police for speeding, and then had the nerve to ask them for ID. Needless to say he was booked and got 3 points, probably for his cheek!

…or even the occasion he was going up to London with some mates to see a gig (Metalica), only to get off the train to make sure he was on the right carriage, and then watch as it pulled off without him…….much to the amusement of his friends on board!

………but no……there are far too many to mention so I won't say any more!

But……….all this just makes him the man he is, and we like him for it, and wouldn't have it any other way!!!

Nick/Becky
I'm almost finished, so bear with me now…….but I need Nick and Becky's help for this…….Get them to stand up

Becky……..could you place your hand flat on the table?

Nick………if you'd be kind enough to place your hand directly on top on Becky's!!!

Enjoy it Nick…………..cos it'll be the last time you have the upper hand!!!!!!!

Cards/Messages Read them all out fitting in these!

Congratulations on your marriage Mr Dee – Hampshire Police Constabulary (specialist speeding section)

Hope all goes well on the night, and if you need any tips then give me a call on 0898 696969 – love, Hotlips!

Toast
So, it gives me great pleasure, not to mention relief that my speech is almost over, to invite you all to raise your glasses in a toast to Nick and Becky, Mr and Mrs Dee, and to wish them every success in the future, that they stay happy together, have a long and fruitful marriage…………..and have loads of kids!!!!!!!!

Thank you, and enjoy the rest of the day!