Speech by Marc Colbeck
I got so many well dones for this speech and lot of drinks me and the Groom drank our selfs sober! It was the best thing i ever done! Hope you all like it or use some of it! Some bits i did miss out but this was what it was ment to be!
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Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Marc Colbeck
Speech Date: Sep2004
Hi My Names Marc Colbeck and I am an Alcoholic!
Oh god sorry, wrong Speech!
Right then as……..… Sorry can you hear me at the back???? Yes???? Ok mines a pint! Right the as Darren has told me in this speech there is to be No Swearing, No Sex, Nothing about ex's and No Untrue stories…………………..So this is going to be very boring so i hope you enjoy you meal!
Fornication………… I mean For An Occasion! Like this they needed to choose a best man he could rely on but of course he couldn't find one so he asked me silly fool!!
So any way me and Daz have known each other at least 10 years now and I can honestly say he has never done anything wrong…..well apart from asking me to be his best man! and has no embarrassing stories what so ever…………………………….Noooooo wait a minute there is one what happened at school! Quite a lot of you know about this but there is quite a few of you here today who don't know.
While at school one day Me Daz and Dave were stood in the dinner line and Darren wasn't looking to good, in fact he was white………..er than me1!!!!
Dave asked if he was ok and Daz just said its because he hadn't had his weaterbix and when he gets his dinner he would be ok.… At that point he faints Dave puts his arms out to catch him and the moves them..… Darren then bounces off the floor and of course…………..pisses himself!
But as always Darren come out of it the best waking up in the nurses’ office with 3 of the best looking girls at school asking if he is ok!
You lucky GIT!!!!!!!
So any way on behalf of the bridesmaids I would like to thank Darren/Linzy on His/Her kind words and may I also say that they have done an excellent job today and look absolutely amazing!
That said, being best man is probably the most terrifying ordeal you could inflict on any one!
Today isn't the first time I have stood up from a warm seat with a piece of paper in my hand!
Before I get to the toast I would like Darren and Linzy to participate in this next part
So could Linzy put one hand on the table and now Darren you place your hand on top! Thank you now then that's the last time Darren will ever have the upper hand!
I think you will all agree Darren and Linzy make a lovely couple,
Linzy is Pretty,
She is Clever and also she is fun to be with!
And Darren……………well Darren is erm………good with computers!
As we know…………………………….There is a couple of people here, who today, we have all taken into our hearts, who mean a whole lot to us, and with out them, this day wouldn't have been the success that it has!
Ladies, Gentlemen! Please raise your glasses, and join me in a toast………………………THE BAR STAFF!!!!!!!
And Now it gives me a great pleasure to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses in a toast to Darren and Linzy, Mr and Mrs Heanan. We wish them all the best for the future, and hope they enjoy a long and happy marriage!
Darren and Linzy!!!!!!!!!!!!!
