Speech by Mark Brennan

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mark Brennan
Speech Date: Dec2005
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, my name is mark and michael has chosen me to be his best man today, although i can sense that he might be regretting this decision already.

Firstly, i would like to offer my thanks to michael for his kind words to the bridesmaids, Pamela and Libby. I'm sure everyone will agree with me that they look fantastic and have done a great job looking after Jane. They have certainly helped to make today very special.

Of course, i mustn't forget the star of the show, Jane, who looks stunning; michael simply looks a bit stunned.

Secondly, my thanks to Michael and Jane, for giving me the great honour and privilege of standing here today as their best man.

As one of my duties, i am responsible for making sure that michael made it here

1 on time
2 sober and
3 presentable

– i'll let you be the judge of just which of the three was the greater challenge

When faced with the prospect of making this speech, i did what most blokes would do and promptly went down to the pub and forgot all about it – until the wedding was looming just too close for comfort, it was time to do some research.

Now where would i find amusing and entertaining stories about michael that would be appropriate for a family audience ?

Several sprang to mind and were dismissed for various reasons

-some not suitable to be told in front of the kids,
-some not suitable for the grown ups,
-some not really suitable for anyone

should you really be keen to hear these tales then i will be available later in the evening if you buy me a beer.

So i thought : Michaels stag night would surely come up with the goods –

a whole weekend in Newcastle, could only lead to trouble.

Suprisingly, from the nine of us who hit the toon, proceedings were remarkably civilised.

No arrests, no nudity, no injuries,

I will never forget the spectacle of Michael having to watch his team Sunderland play Newcastle in a pub jam packed with newcastle fans –

a match with lots of goals, it was hilarious watching michael try to stifle his true feelings each time one was put past the net. And all this on top of a massive hangover.

I won't mention the result, though !

What was great was the opportunity to remake friendships that had lapsed over the years, to find out who was married, who had kids, it was quite amazing to find out that against all odds, we were finally growing up.

I still find it amazing that two people can make such a serious commmittment as Michael and Jane have done today, and they will always have my respect for doing so.

I guess i'm kind of old fashioned and beleive every word they said when they made their wedding vows.

Before i continue, i have some good luck messages from friends who were unable to make it today :

from Mr and Mrs Allan Frame –

Our sincerest apologies that we could not make it to your special day. We hope you both have a wonderful time and wish you every happiness in your future together.

From the manager of Buffalo Joes Bar in Newcastle –

Can you have another stag weekend soon ? Sales of apple schnapps were up 70% last week

Now some of you may know that when Michael comes back from his honeymoon, he is starting a new job in a new pub. This message comes from all of the staff at Biddy Mulligans where Michael has worked for the last five years –

Good luck from all of us with your new life, marrying Jane is one of the best things you have ever done.
On a professional level and a personal level, you will be greatly missed, you are one of the good guys.

And there is a PS

Ps. Seeing as you are leaving, can we all have Saturday night off ?

more messages later as they come in.

I think i am very lucky to be in the position of having known Michael and Jane for many years since before they were together.

Michael and i shared various grotty flats during our student years. I remember michaels mam being horrified at the mess – and we'd tidied up before she arrived !

Jane eventually moved into one of these grotty flats and made it nice – I don't think michael ever looked back.

It is reassuring to see that the happy couple have already fitted into appropriate roles for their life together – Jane is an excellent cook, if you need any confirmation of this, just speak to the kilt hire shop.

Anyway, to be serious for a moment,

We are here today to celebrate with Michael and Jane and to give them our very best wishes as they enter into married life

so it gives me great pleasure to invite you to raise your glasses and join me in toasting the happy couple.

May your love be modern enough to survive the times and old-fashioned enough to last forever.

To our friends,

To Michael and Jane.