Speech by Mark Clougher

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mark Clougher
Speech Date: Oct 2001
When nick first asked me to be his bestman I told him straight no way
He offered me ten pounds,
I told him I couldn't be brought,
He offered me twenty pounds,
I said do you really think I?m cheap,
He offered me thirty pounds,

So good afternoon ladies and gentleman, My name is Mark and I am the best man.

Firstly May I start by thanking Nick on behalf of the bridesmaids Claire and jamie lee and the pageboy Thomas for his kind words.

Before I launch into the traditional character assassination of the groom, I think we all agree Emma looks like one in a million today and absolutely
fantastic, Nick I think youv?e done extremely well marrying Emma, you've found someone who?s beautiful, charming, smart , funny, loving and caring.

And Emma you?ve got………..well……………………NICK.

Nick came into the world on 28th June 1961, looking at him know it?s quite hard to believe that quite frankly.

I thought I?d tell you a bit about nicks life,

When he was born he was nearly called Thursday, Sheila took one look at him and said Right lets call it a day.

It?s more than fair to say nick can be described as outgoing and boisterous in his youth, I have even heard him described as rebellious. A good example of this was when in his long hair and hawkwind days he was told he couldn't have a motorbike, however when the family went on holiday nick went out and brought a B.S.A. Starfire.

When Colin And Sheila came home he defiantly roared off down the road only for the bike to breakdown at the end of the road never to work again.

However that must of been the start of Nicks passion for Fast motors, as some of you may know this weekend Nicks driving around in a Porsche, so I would advise everyone in the room to stay off the pavements for the next few days.

Ive known nick for about 10 years, and I do know quite a lot about him,
However unfortunately because we have children in the room I have to save the Embarrassing stories about him until later in the evening,

And although we have never worked in the same place at the same time I do know that when ever the opportunity arises Nick will take the opportunity to dress up, especially in Womens Clothes.

Oh that's a story for later.

It would also be fair to say Nick has a distinguished reputation within the company.

In fact at his store he is often described as god.

No-one ever sees him
He makes his own rules
And its a bloody miracle if he does any work at all.

Well nick and Emma decided to get married for better or for worse, which is quite appropriate as nick could not of done any better and Emma could not of done any worse.

Now before I read out some cards I would like to ask Nick and Emma to
participate in this speech, Emma if I can ask you to place your hand on the flat of the table, now nick place your hand on top of Emma?s
Nick take a deep breath and enjoy this moment, as this is the last time you will ever have the upperhand.

Read Cards………………………

I would like to finish with a little advice to Emma from my wife.
A man is like a tiled floor, lay it right first time and you can spend years walking over it.

Personally I would like to thanks also those involved in organising today, The Venue is perfect, the service was great, the food was outstanding and I know the rest of today and this evening will be a great success.

And Finally it gives me great pleasure and not to mention relief to invite you all to stand and raise your glasses and join me in wishing you both health happiness and a wonderful life together.

to the new Mr and Mrs Gardner.

NICK & EMMA..