Speech by Mark Hutton

Speech Type: Best man
Speech Creator: Mark Hutton
Speech Date: May2007
Opening
Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls. Before I give Chris the most uncomfortable five minutes of his life I would like to start by thanking him for his kind words on behalf of our lovely bridesmaids Alison and Sam. Both look fantastic and indeed are only eclipsed by Debbie who I am sure you'll agree looks absolutely stunning. Chris on the other hand just looks “STUNNED”.

Introduction
When thinking about my duties as best man the first thing I considered was how to tackle this speech. Being someone who works in IT I decided to consult the Internet. After looking on the web for a couple of hours I found some REALLY GOOD STUFF however then I remembered I was meant to be looking for best man tips!

I actually did find loads of prepared speeches on the Internet however sadly for me none of them were about a couple called Chris and Debbie so I had to rely on personal experience.

Roasting the Groom
Luckily for me I have been friends with Chris for quite a while. I first met Chris at Glasgow University in the late 80’s and have been friends with him ever since. Mary reliably informs me that Chris was born in 1969. Further research on the Internet advises that this was the same year that “Easy Rider” and “Monty Python's Flying Circus” came out. I believe this explains both Chris's behaviour during university and his decision to go back!

Anyone who knows Chris knows that he is a clean living chap, who does not drink too excess, smoke and generally partakes in a healthy lifestyle – not the ideal traits for a best mans speech I'm sure you agree!

However luckily for me Chris did not always follow such an admirable path. Whilst Chris now lives the life of a TONED ATHLETE that would put Paula Radcliff to shame – this has not always been the case. As a child Chris was known to favour the path of least resistance and physical endurance. Examples include staying in bed during the freak hurricane that hit Essex in September 1987 and my personal favourite which resolves around his selection criteria for sports at school. Martin My new best mate – where are you? advises me that Chris chose cricket for PE just so that he could sit in the sun as an outfielder without fear of doing any exercise. This cricket pitch was also conveniently close to his folks house were he could pop in for a lemonade or five before rejoining his team mates at the end of a “tiring game”.

Having no previous knowledge of his slothful past I thought that the best choice of for Chris's Stag Do was a spot of Go Karting. For those who were unable to attend the event went really well and we even allowed Chris to win the final – ISN'T RIGHT GRAEME? This was followed by the obligatory curry in the west end of Glasgow followed by a few drinks at Chris's flat. Personally I thought the evening had gone rather well however Chris's dad Joe obviously disagreed as he managed to jam the front door on attempting to leave. Thus putting new meaning in the phrase “LOCK IN PARTY”.

Following on the sporty theme it was no surprise when Chris told me that he asked Debbie to marry him halfway up Ben Cruachan. He told Debbie that he chose this location as the beautiful scenery inspired him and made him real romantic. However truth be told I believe he chose this location as it ensured that Debbie had no where to run!

Before I finish I would like to read out some cards from friends and loved ones who could not be with us today. These have been specially selected by Chris and Debbie.

[Cards…]

Words of advice
I though I would end my speech with some words of wisdom for Chris based on my worldly experience as a husband for the last twelve years.

Advice #1 – People say marriage should be 5050 partnership. The person who wrote this knows little about women and even less about fractions.

Advice #2 – The best way to remember your anniversary is to forget it once.

Advice #3 – The secret of a good marriage is to remember to have a nice meal with good wine, scintillating conversation and soft music at least once a week. My wife and I swear by this … she goes out on Tuesdays and I go out on Fridays!

Bit of sincerity &amp Toast
Joking aside Chris you've been a great friend to me over the years and it has been an honour to be your best man today. We've have some great times together and I am sure we will continue to do so. I wish both you and Debbie a great honeymoon in Canada and all the happiness in the world for the future. Ladies and gentlemen, may I now ask you to stand. Please charge your glasses in a toast to Chris and Debbie, the new Mr and Mrs Connor.